Category: light bulbs

Q: How many Vulcans does it take to change a light bulb?A: “Approximately 1.00000000000000000000000”

Q: How many gardeners does it take to change a lightbulb?A: Three. One to change it and two to have a debate about whether this is the right time of year to be putting in lightbulbs or daffodil bulbs.

How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One always leaves in the middle of the project.

Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Nine. One to change the bulb, and eight to protest about the nuclear power plant that generates the electricity that powers it.

Q: How many Cancerians does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: None: Cancerians would worry themselves to death with the problem.

Q: How many Jo Brands does it take to change a lightbulb?A: None, you give it to a bloody man to do, cos it’s a piece of cake, isn’t it? Well, no, actually, that expression is crap isn’t it, because if you had a piece of cake, you’d bloody well eat it, wouldn’t you?

Q: How many Liverpool supporters does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: 96. One to change it and 95 to get killed in the crush when the whole city turns up to watch.Note: Topical to the Hillsborough disaster.

Q: How many paranoids does it take to change a lightbulb?A: Who who wants to know?

Q: How many Stanford researchers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?A: Three. One to hold the ladder, one to turn the bulb, and one to bill the government for the house.

How many country singers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Ten. One to screw in the new lightbulb and nine to sing the old one
goodbye.

Q: How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: 586 of them, and it will take them a year from the moment you convince them that the lightbulb is not functioning per the spec.

Q: How many social workers does it take to change a lightbulb?A: Four. One to remove the bulb from the socket and take it away without checking whether or not there was actually anything wrong with it, one to accuse its owners of mistreating it, one to find somewhere else to screw it in for the next 6 months, and one to eventually bring it back and say it was all done with the lightbulb’s best interests at heart.