Category: light bulbs

How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and four more to chase off the
Californians who have come up to relate to the experience.

Q: How many bailiffs does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: Ten. One to change it, one to hit you in the kidneys, and 8 to stand around such that none of this gets caught on camera.

Q: How many Israelis does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Six–four to storm the room and take control of it, one to forcibly eject the old bulb, and another one to screw it in.

How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

12 to investigate Clinton’s involvement in the failure of the old bulb, 23 to deregulate the lightbulb industry, 16 to cut funding for alternative lighting research and development, 34 to cut the tax rate on lightbulbs, 53 to design a block grant so the states can change the bulb, and 41 to talk with defense contractors about using night-vision gear instead.

The light bulb seems to working fine on our system…

Q: How does an engineer change a lightbulb?A: As long as lighting levels are within operational parameters, he doesn’t !

Q: How many keyboardists does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Two: One to screw in the bulb, and one to patch it into the Korg.

Q: How many publishers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?A: Three. One to screw it in. Two to hold down the author.

Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Only one, but he has to have a nurse to tell him which end to screw in.

Q: How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

Q: How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?A: Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it’s already burned out).

Q: How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Two: One to roll it, and one to light it up.