Category: jokes for nerds

A construction site boss was interviewing men for a job, when along came Boudreaux. The boss thought to himself, “I’m not hiring that lazy Cajun,” so he decided to set a test for Boudreaux hoping he wouldn’t be able to answer the questions and he’d be able to refuse him the job without getting into an argument.The first question was, “Without using numbers, represent the number 9.”Boudreaux says, “Dat’s easy,” and proceeds to draw three trees.The boss says, “What the hell is that?”Boudreaux says, “Tree ‘n tree ‘n tree makes nine.””Fair enough,” says the boss. “Second question, same rules, but represent 99.”Boudreaux stares into space for a while, then makes a smudge on each tree. “Der ya go sir,” he says.The boss scratches his head and asks, “How on earth do you get that to represent 99?”Boudreaux answers, “Each tree is dirty now, so it’s dirty tree ‘n dirty tree ‘n dirty tree – dat’s 99.”The boss is getting worried he’s going to have to hire Boudreaux so he says, “All right, question number 3. Same rules again, but this time represent the number 100.”Boudreaux stares into space again, then he shouts, “I got it!” He makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, “Der ya go sir – 100.”The boss looks at Boudreaux’s attempt and thinks, “Ha! Got him this time.” He then tells Boudreaux, “Go on Boudreaux, you must be crazy if you think that represents a hundred!”Boudreaux leans forward and points to the little marks at the tree bases and says, “A little dog comes along and craps by each tree, so now ya got dirty tree an’ a turd, dirty tree an’ a turd, and dirty tree an’ a turd, which makes 100. When do I start my job?”

Two polish guys walk into a bar and sit down on the stools. All of a sudden, they start masturbating furiously, until the bar owner comes along and screams, “HEY, what the FUCK are you guys doing?! “

.. and one of the guys says,
“the sign says: FIRST COME, FIRST SERVE”

There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer,
a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the
car just stops by the side of the road, and the three
engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.
The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the
electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault
might have occurred. The chemical engineeer, not knowing
much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming
emulsified and getting blocked somewhere. Then, the
Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes
up with a suggestion, “Why don`t we close all the windows,
get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe
it’ll work !?”

Q: How do you please a pool table?A: Put your hands down its pockets and tickle its balls!!

How is a computer like an erection?

It stays up as long as you don’t screw with it!

Once, there were two bikers driving down the highway on a cold afternoon.

“Man! commented one… it’s FREEZING!!! and my coat won’t zip up. The cold air is killing me!!”

The other biker thought for a minute as they sped down the road. “Well, he said at last… you can turn your jacket around, then the open side would be at the back. You wouldn’t get so cold that way.”

“Great idea!” commented the other. “stop and let me swich.”

The driver pulled over, and the passenger put his jacket on backwards.

“There! he said when he had compleated the swich. “I feel better already.”

The two of them climbed back on the Motorcycle and drove off. Then, suddenly they hit a patch of ice on the road, and spun off and crashed. A few minutes later a crowd had gathered, and when the ambulance arrived, the EMTs shouted out “Is anybody hurt?”

One guy from the crowd replied “Well, the driver was dead when I got here, but the other guy was doing allright until we fixed his head.”