Category: jokes for nerds

your muma so supid she sits on the tv and watches the chair

There was a guy walking down the street with a parrot on his sholder and a black guy said where did you get that parrot and the white guy said,over there but I forgot.

A man who thought he was John the Baptist was disturbing the neighborhood, so for public safety, he was committed.

He was put in a room with another crazy and immediately began his routine, “I am John The Baptist! Jesus Christ has sent me!”

The other guy looks at him and declares, “I did not!”

MILK!!!!!!!!!

A carpet-layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he’d lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. ‘No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,’ he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. ‘Here,’ she said, handing him his pack of cigarettes. ‘I found them in the hallway.’ ‘Now,’ she said, ‘if only I could find my parakeet. ‘

why did mr hupty push mrs hupty of the wall? BECUSE HE WANTED TO SEE HER CRACK BELOW

XMODEM – A spot-marking transfer protocol.

There once was a cornish pasty on one side of the road.On the other side of the road was another pasty.the cornish pasty says to the other pasty “hello jimmy!” The other pasty says”me names not jimmy stupid its beefy”

A supply of Viagra was stolen last night, police are looking for two hardened criminals and they can expect stiff sentences when caught!

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.

“First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector”, says the Coroner.

“Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.”

The Inspecdor asked, “What of the third body?”

“Ah,” says the coroner, “this is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning.”

“Why is he smiling then?” inquires the Inspector.

“Thought he was having his picture taken.

Tolkien spokien here.

there was this guy that couldnt talk so he went to school and learned how to say yes.he went to a restrant and he learned how to say forks and knives forks and knives.he saw a comercial for an air freashiner and he learned to say plug it in plug it in. and then one day a cop comes up to him and says did you kill this man and he says yes how and what did you kill him with forks and knives forks and knives.ok bub your going in the electric chair plug it in plug it in. im sorry if it offended any mutes or dumb people but i think this joke is funny!