Category: gross

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag and
what do they have in common?

They are both made of plastic and one was meant for children to play with!

How do you know you’re at a gay BBQ?

The hotdogs taste like shit!

A couple was honeymooning in Daytona Beach. The manager of the motel
noticed the new groom fishing all day and night on the first day of their
stay. The second day came and the new groom was again fishing all day and
night. This ritual was repeated on the third and fourth day and night.

The manager could not take anymore. He went up to the new groom and said,
“You just got married. How come you’re not up there making love to your
new wife?”

The new groom said, “I can’t….. She has gonnoreah.”

The manager said, “Well …..she what about her mouth?” To which the
groom answered, “Nope …She has pyoreah.”

The manager scratches his head and says, “Her ass?”

The groom replies, “No way ….she has diareah!”

The manager says, “Well, let me ask you….if this bitch has so much wrong
with her, why did you marry her?”

To which the groom smiles and says, “Well she has worms too and I love to
fish day and night.”

They say you can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends,
but you can’t pick your friend’s nose.

Why not?

What’s the best part of anal sex with a 12 year old girl?

Pretending it’s a 10 year old boy.

What did the leper say to the prostitute?

Keep the tip.

Why do women exist?

Because cows are too big, sheep can’t cook and chickens explode!

“…And the halftime score here at the Coliseum is Lions 7,
Christians Nothing. We’ll be right back after these messages…”

What is the worst thing that can happen to a leper?

An epileptic fit.

One day Bob and Tom were playing outside by the barn.
Bob’s mom came out to get them for lunch and saw them playing
with a rubber.

Mom yelled at Bob and Tom to get in the house and wash their
hands.

The two boys ran in, washed and come back out.

A moment later Mom yelled again for them to
get back in and wash their hands.

Bob and Tom confused went
in the house again, washed and came back outside.

Again, Mom yelled for them to come back and rewash their hands.

As the boys came back to the house, Tom turned to Bob and said “I guess
your mom’s pretty upset with us for playing with that. It’s a good thing
she didn’t find out we ate the pudding inside!”

Why can’t Hellen Keller drive?

She’s a woman.

Things not to say to a leper:

• “Hang in there”
• “What’s eating you?”
• “Don’t go to pieces.”