Category: gays & lesbians

There once was a gay guy that was very desperate for some good
loving. He had just gotten dumped by an amazing guy. He had a
very long, hard day so he decided to go to a bar and have a few
drinks.He went to the bar, had a drink and sat down. In came two
guys who had just came from a long game of tennis. One of the
guys said to the bartender”Oh my god! I am so thirsty. I would
drink the sweat off of a cows balls.” suddenly the guy runs up
to the tennis player and yells “moomooomoomooo!”

Two gay men are walking through a zoo. They come across the
gorillas, and after a while they notice that the male gorilla
has a massive erection. The gay men are fascinated by this. One
of the men just can’t bear it any longer and he reaches into the
cage to touch it. Suddenly, the gorilla grabs him, drags him
into the cage and mates with him for six hours nonstop! When
he’s done, the gorilla throws the man back out of the cage. An
ambulance is called and the man is taken away to the hospital. A
few days later his friend visits him and asks: “Are you hurt?”
“Am I hurt?” he answers. “Wouldn’t you be? He hasn’t called, he
hasn’t written…”

A man was walking a street on an ordinary day. He climbed the
ladder, like anyone would do. On the cloud he saw an ugly lady
and a ladder leading up to another cloud. She said, “Fuck me
now, or climb the ladderto success.” The man passed on the offer
and climbed the next ladder. On the next cloud he saw a little
more attractive lady and a ladder leading up to another cloud.
She said, “Fuck me now, or climb the ladderto success.” The man
passed on the offer and climbed the next ladder. On the next
cloud he saw an attractive lady and a ladder leading up to
another cloud. She said, “Fuck me now, or climb the ladderto
success.” The man passed on the offer and climbed the next
ladder. He noticed that the general pattern was the higher he
went, the better the chicks got. So he climbed untill he reached
a drop dead gorgous woman sitting on the cloud naked. She said
“Fuck me now or climb to success.” He couldn’t imagin what was
on the next cloud (probably a better chick!), so he climbed. On
this cloud he saw a fat, bald man sitting on the cloud and no
ladder going up. The man had flies buzzing around his head and
he was extremely dirty. Ladder guy asked in horrro “WHO THE HELL
ARE YOU!!?!?!” The fat man smiled, spread open his legs and said
“Hi, I’m Sess”

What do you call it when a gay guy hits you?

Fruit Punch.

Two gay guys are in the shower. The phone rings so one guy gets
out. He say to the other guy, “Don’t do anything without me.”
The other guy promises not too. When the guy returns from his
phone call he looks in the shower and sees cum all over. He says
I told you not to do anything without me. The guy looks at him
and says, “All I did was fart.”

How do you knwo if your at a gay party?

The hotdogs taste like shit.

The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter
was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant, and
adversely impact the family’s status, she consulted the family
doctor.

The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful, and
any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion.
He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth
control and, until then, talk to her and give her a box of
condoms.

Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date,
the woman told her about the situation and handed her a box of
condoms.

The girl started to laugh and reached over to hug her mother
saying, “Oh Mom! You don’t have to worry about that! I’m dating
Susan!”

There was a little boy who walked onto a public bus . The little
boy started raving on and on about the facts of life to the bus
driver .
He said “if my daddy were a bull and my mommy were a cow I’d be
a little bull . If my daddy was a monkey and my mommy was a
monkey I’d be a little monkey .If my daddy were a fish and my
mommy were a …” when all of the sudden the bus driver got so
angered that he pulled the bus off the road and said to the boy
” what if your mommy was a prostatute and your daddy was
gay”.The boy thinks for a momment and then states in a cute
little voice “I’d be a bus driver”.

Why did the gay guy think his lover was cheating on him?

He came home shit faced.

Lil’ Johnny goes to school ona day and his teacher says,”You
only have one item for homework today and that is to find the
definition of realisticaly and potentially.” So Lil’ Johnny goes
home and asks his dad what realistacaly and potetially meens and
he asy “I’ll give you three things to do and you come back to me
with an answer.” and Lil’ Johnny says “ok,” “first go to your
mother and ask her if she’ll sleep with Robert Redford for a
million dollars. Then go to your sister and ask her if she’ll
slee p with Brad Pitts for a million dollars. After that go to
your brother and ask him if He’ll sleep with Tom Cruise for a
million dollars. After all that come back to me and tell me what
you came up with.” So Lil’ Johnny goes to his mom and says “Mom
will you sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars?” “Well
I love your father a whole lot and we’ve been married for 15
years and well, for a million dollars I guess I will.” So he
goes to his sister and says “Sis’ will you sleep with Brad Pitts
for a million dollars?” “I’d sleep with him for nothin but for a
million dollars hell yes.” So now, he goes to his brother and
asked himm if he’d slep with Tom Cruise for a million dollars
and he says “Well isn’t he gay or something?” Lil’ Johnny Shrugs
his shoulders. “Well for a million dollars I guess I would.” So
now Lil’ Johnny goes back to his dad and says “Dad I think I now
what realisticaly and potentially meens!” “Ok son spill it!”
“Potentaily we can be millionares, realistically I’m livin’ with
2 Sluts and A Fag!!!”

What do you call 2 Irish lesbians?

Gay-lick

One day two gay guys decide to go play golf. One guy hits the
ball and it hits this really big guy right between the legs. The
guys go over and start telling him how sorry they are and that
they would do anything to make up for it and they just go on and
on until the guy yells at them and says, “Suck my dick!!” The gay
guy looks at his buddy and says, “Oh wait Jimmy, he wants to make
a deal!!”