Category: dirty jokes

A boy in the sixth grade comes home after school one day. His mother notices that he’s got a big smile on his face. She asks, “Did anything special happen at school today?””Yes, Mom. I had sex with my English teacher!” The mother is stunned.”You’re going to talk about this with your father when he gets home.”Well, when dad comes home and hears the news he is pleased as punch. Beaming with pride, he walks over to his son and says, “Son, I hear you had sex with your English teacher.””That’s right, Dad.””Well, you became a man today – this is cause for celebration. Let’s head out for some ice cream, and then I’ll buy that new bike you’ve been asking for.””That sounds great, Dad, but I can I have a football instead? My ass is killing me.”

Who do you keep a nigger from drowning?take your foot off his head.

Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar. One complained to the other, “Boy, business sucks. If I don’t sell more cars this month, I’m going to lose my fucking ass.”Too late he noticed a beautiful blonde sitting two stools away.Immediately, he apologized for his bad language.”That’s okay,” the blonde replied, “If I don’t sell more ass this month, I’m going to lose my fucking car.”

Why do elephants have 4 feet?

-Because 4 inches isn’t enough.

What not to say to your wife.

Smile for me, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.

1.looks like she did one too many hits of acid. 2.is your gfother your grandfarther to? 3.did your mom get hit in the stomach when she was pregnant? 4.looks like his cheese slid off his cracker. 5.if i was a boxer i would be hitting those things. 6.see what haooens when you drink when your pregnant. 7.your a jit-bag! 9.someone told me you wre dead. 10.hey you left your crack pipe in the bathroom.

A doctor is standing in the hall of a hospital talking with a colleague when suddenly one of his patients runs down the hall in his hospital gown screaming at the top of his lungs.Right behind the patient is a nurse carrying a pan of steaming, boiling-hot water, obviously chasing the patient. The doctor interrupts his conversation with his colleague and shouts to the chasing nurse, “Miss Jones, I said ‘Prick his boil!”

What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato?

– A dictator!

What’s the definition of AIDS?

Anally Injected Death Sentence.

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman

wHAT DO U CALL WHIT PEOPLE IN A BUS?

a Twinkie

3 homos sitting in a hot tub when dead gerbil comes floteing to the top 1 homo looks at the other 2 and says alright who farted?

Your mama is so fat,you half to wax the door and hold a twinkie on the other side,just to get her through