Category: definitions

One who has mastered the science of remaining a bachelor.

CD-ROM (Acronym)

Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months

Creature who acts nice to you because she doesn’t
like you, or mean, because she does.

Keep your employees in the dark and occasionally throw shit at them.

A household appliance designed to eat socks.

The apparatus with which we think that we think.

Yogurt (noun)

Semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated
and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods
that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other
two are goulash and squid.

Jokes that are short enough for a man to understand.

A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.

A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry
shoes into it.

Dictionary of Evaluation Comments Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out. ZEALOUS ATTITUDE: Opinionated. CHARACTER ABOVE REPROACH: Still one step ahead of the law. UNLIMITED POTENTIAL: Will stick with us until retirement.

A large, heavy, blunt object used to forcibly inject
clues into those who have proven otherwise clue-resistant.

Sometimes this is done by inducing unconsciousness, thereby raising the
clue level in a subject who was formerly negatively clued.