Category: definitions

Valentine’s Day (noun)

A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and
romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.

Copulation without representation.

Chip: What to munch on.Micro Chip: What’s left in the bottom of the bag.Infrared: Where the left-overs go when Fred’s around.

Windows: What to shut when it’s below 15 below.Screen: What ‘cha need for the black fly season.Byte: That’s what the flies do.

Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.

Why did the auditor cross the road?
Because he looked in the file and that’s what they did last year.

Maintains professional attitude: A snob.Meticulous in attention to detail: A nitpicker.Mover and shaker: Favors steamroller tactics without regard for other opinions.

Someone brought in at the last minute to share the blame.

Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.Defense: What you’d better have around de yard if you’re going to let the children play outside.Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.

Water (noun)

A liquid that freezes slippery side up.

IBM (Acronym)

I Blame Microsoft

On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth.
On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear!

An Italian suppository.