Category: definitions

Able to whine in words.

Internet – Where cafeteria workers put their hair.Keyboard – Where you hang the keys to the John Deere.Mac – Big Bob’s favorite fast food.

Auto Biography (noun)

The life story of a car.

A replacement of old bugs with new bugs.

Terminal – Time to call da undertaker.Crash – When you go to Junior’s party uninvited.Digital – The art of counting on your fingers.

To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

An appliance that you screw on the bed to keep the house clean.

Someone who is afraid of Santa Claus.

A cat who can settle a dispute between 2 mice.

A keen analyst: Thoroughly confused.Accepts new job assignments willingly: Never finishes a job.Active socially: Drinks heavily.

Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.Two-minute warning: When the baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.Look out: What it’s too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.