Category: definitions

Immigration

The sincerest form of flattery.

I Blame Microsoft

The game the whole family can play.

From Mom’s Dictionary…

Sterilize (verb)

What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your
last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.

These translations are for all of you wonderful women out there, so that you will know what we really mean when we say…”OH, DON’T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT’S NO BIG DEAL.”Translated:* “I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I’m hurt.””HEY, I’VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I’M DOING.”Translated:* “And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.””I CAN’T FIND IT.”Translated:* “It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I’m completely clueless.”

TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction. TOMORROW: One of the greatest labour saving devices of today. YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed. WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines.

The inevitable result when your baby doesn’t appreciate the strained
carrots.

The wife says: You have to learn to communicate.The wife means: Just agree with me.The wife says: Are you listening to me?The wife means: [Too late, your doomed.]The wife says: YesThe wife means: No

The wife says: Hang the picture thereThe wife means: No, I mean hang it there!The wife says: I heard a noiseThe wife means: I noticed you were almost asleep.The wife says: Do you love me?The wife means: I’m going to ask for something expensive.

Inoculatte

To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

From The Washington Post’s Style Invitational competition, where
readers were asked to take any word
from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one
letter, and supply a new definition.

Semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated
and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods
that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other
two are goulash and squid.

A series of step-by-step instructions for preparing
ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don’t
own, to make a dish the dog won’t eat the rest of.