Yours Fun Portal !
A guy walks into a construction site, sets down his football bat, and orders a beer. The flamingo looks at him and says, “I’ll bet you $5.00 that you can’t stand on your own neck.”
The guy replies, “Well, if you’re out of grilled cheese, then I don’t do pianos!”
1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.
2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it�s probably obsolete.
3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you�d least expect to find it.
4. When the going gets tough, upgrade.
5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.
6. To err is human…to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, its downright natural.
7. He who laughs last, probably has a back-up.
8. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.
9. A complex system that doesn�t work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.
10. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want it to do.
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow? Only to be troubled and insecure?
Is there another word for synonym?
Isn’t is it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all”?
Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
What’s another word for thesaurus?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
When it rains, why don’t sheep shrink?
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
Why is the word abbreviation so long?
When companies ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
If you’re cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
Q. How do you get rid of a boomerang?
A: Throw it down a one way street.
If someone says, “I can’t get to a web page.”
“Okay, what’s the page you are trying to get to?
[email protected]? Hmmm… I think I see the problem.”
“When you ask your operator to take you to www.ebay.com,
are you saying, ‘Please?'”
“Did you delete and icon labelled ‘The Internet’ from your computer?
You did? Well, it will take years to restore the entire Internet; in the
meantime, the F.B.I. would like to have a word with you.”
Did you hear about the girl who didn’t wear underwear in the winter?
She got chapped lips!
Why Did Snoop Dogg Carry an Umbrella????
Fo Drizzal
Q: What did the lady at the beach say to Michael Jackson?
A: Hey, get out of my son!
What’s the difference between a polythene bag and Michael Jackson?
A: One is made of plastic and dangerous to
children,the other is used to carry your
shopping home!
why did the silly boy stand on his head?
because his feet where tired.
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. After he’s done, he says to the bartender, “So what do I owe ya’?” And so the bartender responds, “Oh, you’re free of charge.”
A young boy was looking through the family album and asked his mother, “Who’s that guy on the beach with you, with all the muscles and curly hair?”
“That’s your father,” she says.
The kid looks at her funny and asks her, “Then who’s that old bald headed fat man who lives with us now?”