Category: celebrities

One morning micky mouse woke up got dressed and looked out his bedroom window “oh what a beuatifull day he thought “when all of a sudden he looked down in the snow and written in urin a message sayed “micky sucks” so he whent to the police to see who did, it the next morning the police called him and says ” hey mickey we have bad news and worse news , the bad news is its goofy’s urin , the worse news is its minnies handwriting.

If Obi Wan Had a Son, of what name would he bear it?

Obi Tu

If Obi Wan Had another Son, of what name would he bear it?

Obie Trice

After reading Samatha’s joke I must say she
only told half the story! Mickey went to

divorce court. The judge turned to Mickey and

asked:”So you want a divorce because you

think your wife is crazy?”

“No ” replied Mickey “I didn’t say she was

crazy! I said she was fucking Go

What did the tree say when sonny bono hit it?

I GOT YOU BABE!!!!!!

here is a song:
OHHHH bin lattin dont you die so guick im ganna fuck your fanny with some anthrax on my dick.

Three men die in a car accident after a wild Christmas eve party. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. To enter they must each present something Christ-massy.The first man searches his pocket, and finds some mistletoe, so he is allowed in.The second man presents a slightly crumbled cookie, in the shape of an angel, so he is also allowed in.The third man pulls out a pair of panties.Confused at this last gesture , the angel asks “how do these represent Christmas?”The man explains, “Well, they’re Carol’s!”

I hate to be the bearer of sad news so it is with a heavy heart
that I pass on the following:

Please join me in remembering a great icon — the veteran
Pillsbury spokesman. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a
yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the
belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased
coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects,
including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins,
Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The
grave site was piled high with flours. His longtime friend, Aunt
Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who
never knew how much he was needed. Doughboy rose quickly in show
business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was
not considered a very “smart”cookie, wasting much of his dough
on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he
even still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for
millions. Toward the end it was thought he would rise again, but
alas, he was no tart. Doughboy had a wife, Play Dough; two
children, John Dough and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the
oven. He also had a elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was
held at 3:50 for about twenty minutes.

One night, a twin-engine puddle jumper was flying somewhere above New Jersey. There were five people on board: the pilot, Michael Jordan, Bill Gates, the Dahlia Lama, and a hippie. Suddenly, an illegal oxygen generator exploded loudly in the luggage compartment, and the passenger cabin began to fill with smoke. The cockpit door opened, and the pilot burst into the compartment.”Gentlemen,” he began, “I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that we’re about to crash in New Jersey. The good news is that there are four parachutes, and I have one of them!” With that, the pilot threw open the door and jumped from the plane.Michael Jordan was on his feet in a flash. “Gentlemen,” he said, “I am the world’s greatest athlete. The world needs great athletes. I think the world’s greatest athlete should have a parachute!” With these words, he grabbed one of the remaining parachutes, and hurtled through the door and into the night.Bill Gates rose and said, “Gentlemen, I am the world’s smartest man. The world needs smart men. I think the world’s smartest man should have a parachute, too.” He grabbed one, and out he jumped.The Dalai Lama and the hippie looked at one another. Finally, the Dalai Lama spoke. “My son,” he said, “I have lived a satisfying life and have known the bliss of True Enlightenment. You have your life ahead of you. You take a parachute, and I will go down with the plane.”The hippie smiled slowly and said, “Hey, don’t worry, pop. The world’s smartest man just jumped out wearing my backpack.”

The Reverend Jerry Falafel recently outdid Tinny Windy, from the
television show, “Teletubbies,” because, Falafel pronounced,
“The character is clearly a fount of gayness. He is purple, the
gay color, he has an antenna shaped like a triangle, the gay
symbol, and he carries a purse, something all gay people do.”

Fred Flintstone Evidence: His nickname on the Bedrock bowling
team; “Twinkle-Toes Flintstone.” The show’s theme song ends
“…we’ll have a gay old time!” He wears an orange vest with
little triangles on it. Hangs out with Barney far more than
Wilma.

Bugs Bunny Evidence: Often stands with hand on hip. Plays a
hairdresser in one episode. Frequently dresses in drag. Loves to
throw on a top hat and tails and belts out Broadway show-tunes
with his buddy Daffy, who, it is worth noting, has a lisp.

Velum (of Scooby Doo) Evidence: Always tries to sit next to
Daphne in the Mystery Machine. Sports that butch haircut. Has
broad shoulders and wears thick turtleneck sweaters and knee
socks. Never once shagged Shaggy.

Popeye Evidence: Eats lots of salad. Wears a sailor suit, even
though he hasn’t been on a ship in years. Does little sailor
dances. Dates a flat-chested transvestite named Olive Oil. Best
friend named Wimpy.

Batman and Robin Evidence: Robin’s nickname – Boy Wonder.
Batman’s real name is Bruce. Both wear tights. They’re in great
shape. They like to show each other their “grappling hooks.”

Peppermint Patty Evidence: Has a deep, gravely voice. Wears
pants, not dresses like the other Peanuts gals. Plays a mean
game of football. Likes to taunt Charlie Brown. Always hanging
out with that androgynous Marcie. Wears comfortable shoes.
Nickname; Sir.

The Pink Panther Enough said.

Der next night vas ChristmasDer night is vas schtillDer stockings vas hungBy der chimney to fill.Der shildren vas snuggledAll up in der bedAnd mama in nightgownAnd I up ahead…Vas searchink around In der dark for der toysVe krept around kvietNot to make any noise.Und mudder vas carryingDer toys in her gownShowink her personFrom up her vaist down.Und ven she came nearDer crib of our boyOur youngest und sveetestOur pride und our choy…His eyes vide open As he peeked from his cot…Und seen everythink Dot his mudder has got!He didn’t even noticeDer toys in her lap…He chust asked,”For whom ist dot little fur cap?”Und mudder said “hush”Und she laughed mit delight…I tink I give datTo your father tonight!

Tom, Dick and Harry were in the pub, a week before Xmas, enjoying a few quiet drinks, when they decided to get in on the Xmas raffle. They bought five $1 tickets each, seeing it was for charity. The following week, when the raffle was drawn, they each won a prize.

Tom won the first prize – a whole year’s supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce. Dick was the winner of the second prize, six month’s supply of extra-long gourmet spaghetti. And Harry won the sixth prize – a toilet brush.

When they met in the pub a week later, Harry asked the others how they were enjoying their prizes.

“Great,” said Tom. “I love spaghetti.”

“So do I,” said Dick. “And how’s the toilet brush, Harry?”

“Not so good,” Harry said, “I reckon I’ll go back to paper…”

Do you want to hear 3 blond jokes?

Then listen to Hanson.