Category: business

If the assumptions are wrong, the conclusions are not likely to be very good.

A blind man is seeking employment at a lumber yard as a salesmen.
The manager who is interviewing the man tells him that he is more than qualified for the position other than the fact that in order to sell the lumber he would have to see it to know the size and kind of wood he was selling.

“No” replied the blind man, ” I do not have to see it, all I have to do is smell it”.He then asked the manager to test him on this by placing any size and type of lumber he wanted on his desk and without touching it he would identify it.

The manager agreed and placed a 8 Ft x 2in x 4 in piece of pine on his desk.

The blind man smelled it once and correctly indentified it as a 8 ft. x 2in x 4in piece of pine.

The manager then tested him with a 4ft x 4in x 4in piece of oak.

Immediately the blind man identified it as a 4ft x 4in x4in piece of oak.

Thinking he could trick the blind man, the manager got his secretary to strip and lay naked on the desk.

The blind man smelled her up and down, then up and down again. Scratching his head he said, “You almost fooled me, but that’s a shit house door off of a fishing boat.”

Here is an easy way to make money from the post office.

Buy an Helium filled floating party balloon and write your address on it.

Go to the post office and say you want to post the balloon.

Tie the balloon onto the weighing scale and ask for the postage cost.

The floating balloon will make the scale read below zero.

The post office would thus pay you money for posting it.

You don’t even have to carry the balloon home as the post office will deliver it to your address !

Submitted by dogtogod.com

The 5 P’s : Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance

A transistor protected by a fast-acting fuse will protect the fuse by blowing first.

Diplomacy is the ability to tell someone to “get lost” in such a way that they look forward to the trip.

When in doubt, take all the time you need to get all the facts, or all the time you have, whichever is less.

There are two things on earth that are universal: hydrogen and stupidity.

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

Finagle’s Law Of Military Superiority: The bigger they are, the harder they hit.

Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by hitting back.

Blessed is he who has reached the point of no return and knows it for he shall enjoy living.