A theory is better than its explanation.
Category: business
Sloganis Veritas
ABC “America’s Mickey Mouse Network”
Allstate “Sears-ious Insurance”
AOL “We’ve Got You by the Wires”
AT&T “No, WE’VE Got You by the Wires”
Burger King “Wait for It Your Way”
CBS “Welcome Home. Hey, Where the Hell Is Everyone?”
Chevrolet “GEO Whiz, We Like Toyota”
Chrysler “The Mercedes-Benz of American Cars”
Coca-Cola “New Coke Was Pepsi’s Idea”
Democratic National Party “Bill Clinton? Never Heard of Him”
Disney “Available in Stores for a Limited Time Only”
Eveready “Nothing Really Keeps on Going Forever”
Ford “Quality is Somebody Else’s Job”
Ernest & Julio Gallo: “We Will Have No Hangover before Its Time”
General Electric “We’re a Lot Like RCA”
Honda “Just As Good As Hyundai. Really”
IBM “Windows Is Just a Fad”
JERZEES “Fit to a T”
KIA “Killed in Action?”
Little Debbie Snackcakes “Our Name Says It All”
L’Oreal “I’m Worth It, and What’s It To Ya?”
Maytag “The Fix Is On”
McDonald’s “Did Somebody Say Cholesterol?”
Microsoft “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do”
NBC “Formerly Known As Must See TV”
Nike “Just Do It and Get Arrested”
Norelco “Running Circles around Blades”
Old Navy “Can You Ever Forgive Us?”
Oscar Meyer “We Are NOT about Spelling”
Pepsi-Cola “That Clear Crap Was Coke’s Idea”
Pizza Hut “Nobody Beats Our Meat Lovers Special”
?Que Pasa? “Not Really a Name Brand”
RCA “Going to the Dogs”
Republican National Party “The Potatoe People”
Sony “We Just Can’t Top the Walkman”
Sprite “Obey Our Ads”
Seven-Up “Up Yours, Cola Bastards”
Subway “We Are Not Public Transportation, Dammit”
Toyota “Slightly Better Than Hyundai”
Unicorns “Sorry We Missed the Ark”
Volkswagen “Buyers Wanted. Hey, We’re Dying Out Here”
Whirlpool “Not Nearly As Wet As We Sound”
Xerox “The Original Copycats”
Young Again “We Wish”
Zebra “Sort of Like a Black and White Striped Horse”
Zerox “See Us at Xerox”
You cannot kill time without
You cannot kill time without injuring eternity.
Always Give 100%
12% Monday
23% Tuesday
40% Wednesday
20% Thursday
5% Friday
Bungee Jumping in Mexico
Al and Joe are bungee-jumping one day. Al says to Joe, “you know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee jumping service in Mexico.” Joe thinks this is a great idea, so they pool their money and buy everything they’ll need; a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square.
As they are constructing the tower a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them work. When they had finished, there was such a crowd they thought it would be a good idea to give a demonstration. So Al jumps.
He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up, Joe notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, Joe isn’t able to catch him, and he falls again, bounces again and comes back up again. This time he is bruised and bleeding. Again Joe misses him. Al falls again and bounces back up. This time he comes back pretty messed up. He’s got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious.
Luckily Joe catches him this time and says, “What happened? Was the cord too long?”
Barely able to speak, Al gasps, “No, the bungee cord was fine. It was the crowd . . . WHAT THE HECK IS A PI�ATA?”
People who love sausage and
People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either of them being made.
A Trip to the Meat Market
A meat counter clerk, who had had a particularly good day, proudly flipped his last chicken on a scale and weighed it. “That will be $6.35,” he told the customer.
“That really is a little too small,” said the woman. “Don’t you have anything larger?”
Hesitating, but thinking fast, the clerk returned the chicken to the refrigerator, paused a moment, then took the same one out again.
“This one,” he said faintly, ” will be $6.65.”
The woman paused for a moment, then made her decision. “I know what,” she said, “I’ll take both of them!”
You remember to mail a
You remember to mail a letter only when you’re nowhere near a mailbox.
If something is done wrong
If something is done wrong often enough, it becomes right.
All general statements are false;
All general statements are false; think about it.
You’re not drunk if you
You’re not drunk if you can lay on the floor without holding on.
Buying Shoes
A man walks into a shoe store, and tries on a pair of shoes. “How do they feel?” asks the sales clerk.
“Well they feel a bit tight,” replies the man.
The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and at the man’s feet. “Try pulling the tongue out,” the clerk says.
“Well, theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth.”