Category: business

A President of a democracy is a man who is always ready, willing, and able to lay down your life for his country.

Laziness is the mother of nine inventions out of ten.

Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.

It’s not the work that gets me down, it’s the coffee breaks.

Man walks up to bank teller and says”I wanna open a damn savings account” Teller says “thats fine sir,but you dont have to use profanity”,to which the man replys,”just let me have a goddamn savings accout.” “Sir,the teller says,that type of language will not be tolerated here,perhaps you should speak to my boss.” “FINE,says the man,get the son of a bitch.”The tellers boss comes over and says,”what seems to be the problem?” The man says,”I just won 5 million in the lottery,and all I want to do is open a goddamn savings account.” and the boss says,”And this Bitch wont help you?”

I worked for a while at a Wal-Mart store, selling sporting goods. As an employee of Wal-Mart you are sometimes required to make store-wide pages, e.g.,”I have a customer in hardware who needs assistance at the paint counter.”
One night a tentative female voice came over the intercom system with the (I kid you not) following message:

“I have a customer by the balls in toys who needs assistance.”

The more an item costs, the farther you have to send it for repairs.

The more vital your research, the less people will understand it.

Self starters…will not.

Always try to stop talking before people stop listening.

Brien’s First Law: At some time in the life cycle of virtually every organization, its ability to succeed in spite of itself runs out.

It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better.