Category: business

If on an actuarial basis there is a 50-50 chance that something will go wrong, it will actually go wrong nine times out of ten.

Some come to the fountain of knowledge to drink, some prefer to just gargle.

After the Second Coming Jesus returns to Earth.

Within a week he is summoned to the Job Centre and told to find a job.

He is asked to state previous work experience.

He replies that he has done a bit of fishing and some carpentry.

The Clerk checks the computer and finds two job vacancies .

Job one is #200.00 a week as a Carpenter in Birmingham .

The other is as a Fishermen in Galilee at #1,000.00 a week.

The clerk asks him which job he wants to apply for.

After much thought Jesus replies the Birmingham one.

The Clerk tells him again the difference in pay.

He asks him why he doesn’t want the Galilee job.

He sighs and says.

” I worked in Galilee once and was hammered with tax (tacks).

Only joking …don’t get cross.

Beware the wrath of a patient person.

Flon’s Law: There is not now, and never will be, a language in which it is the least bit difficult to write bad programs.

Hurewitz’s Memory Principle: The chance of forgetting something is directly proportional to…to… uh…

DeVries’s Dilemma: If you hit two keys on the typewriter, the one you don’t want hits the paper.

For every credibility gap there is a gullibility fill.

A flying particle will seek the nearest eye.

Green’s Law of Debate: Anything is possible if you don’t know what you’re talking about.

Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced.

Eagles may soar, free and proud, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.