Category: business

There is no such thing as instant experience.

It is better to be part of the idle rich class than be part of the idle poor class.

It is incredible how much intelligence is used in this world to prove nonsense.

People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.

When the product is destined to fail, the delivery system will perform perfectly.

An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, “Have you ever been arrested?” he wrote, “No.”

The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the previous question, was “Why?”
The applicant answered it anyway: “Never got caught.”

Quote from a recent meeting: “We are going to continue having these meetings, everyday, until I find out why no work is getting done”.Quote from the Boss… “I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame it on you.”A motivational sign at work: The beatings will continue until morale improves. A direct quote from the Boss: “We passed over a lot of good people to get the ones we hired.”My Boss frequently gets lost in thought. That’s because it’s unfamiliar territory.My Boss said to me ” What you see as a glass ceiling, I see as a protective barrier.My Boss needs a surge protector. That way his mouth would be buffered from surprise spikes in his brain.I thought my Boss was an idiot, and quit, to work for myself. My new Boss is an idiot, too … but at least I respect him.He’s given automobile accident victims new hope for recovery. He walks, talks and performs rudimentary tasks, all without the benefit of a SPINE.Some people climb the ladder of success. My Boss walked under it.Quote from the Boss after overriding the decision of a task force he created to find a solution: ” I’m sorry if I ever gave you the impression your input would have any effect on my decision for the outcome of this project!”HR Manager to job candidate “I see you’ve had no computer training. Although that qualifies you for upper management, it means you’re under-qualified for our entry level positions.”Quote from telephone inquiry “We’re only hiring one summer intern this year and we won’t start interviewing candidates for that position until the Boss’ daughter finishes her summer classes.

Government’s Law: There is an exception to all laws.

Don’t be irreplaceable; if you cannot be replaced, you cannot be promoted.

Glib’s Fourth Law of Unreliability: Investment in reliability will increase until it exceeds the probable cost of errors, or until someone insists on getting some useful work done.

Ralph’s Observation: It is a mistake to let any mechanical object realise that you are in a hurry. Corollary: On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first strike your toes.

If a listener nods his head when you’re explaining your program, wake him up.