Category: business

In a hierarchical organization, the higher the level, the greater the confusion.

A lady walks into a hardware store and asks the clerk where the hindges are. He takes her to where they are and she immediately selects the one she needs. The clerk askes her if she wants a screw for the hindge—she says, “no, but I’ll blow you for the toaster on that shelf”.

Drew’s Law of Highway Biology: The first bug to hit a clean windshield lands directly in front of your eyes.

A college student is home for the summer from college, and is looking for ajob. He goes to K-Mart, and fills out an application. A few days later, themanager calls him and asks him to come in for an interview, which the studentdoes. When the student arrives, the manager sits him down and says “Well sondo you think you have what it takes to work at ‘The Big K’? The studentthinks to himself, “is this guy fucking nuts?”, but nods his head and saysyes. The manager says ok, and tells the student he must get a lesson first onhow to deal with customers. They go to a cash register, and the managertells the student to watch him and learn what to do. The student agrees andafter a few minutes a customer comes to the counter, and throws down a bag ofGrass Seeds. The manager looks at the bag, and says ” Say, would you like alawnmower to cut that grass when it grows?” The customer thinks for a secondand says ” yeah, why the hell not.” The manager looks at the student and say “Son, do u think u can do that?” The student again thinks to himself ” Isthis guy fucking nuts?”, but nods says and says he does. A few minuteslater, another customer comes to the register to get checked out, and the manager tells the student to try it. The student agrees, while the customer throws a pack of tampons up on the counter. The student looks that thetampons and says ” Sir, would u happen to be interested in buying one of our grasscutters, they are on sale in aisle 8?” The customer looks at the student and says “Why the hell would I want to buy a grasscutter?” Thestudent looks at him and says ” well I just figured since u wouldn’t be getting any pussy this weekend, that u might wanna cut your grass instead!”

Goebel’s Law Of Product Introductions: A future product release date does not say when a product will be introduced. All it says it that you don’t have a chance of seeing it before that time.

Believing is seeing.

An object in motion will always be headed in the wrong direction.

The best laid plans of mice and men are all filed away somewhere.

Two wrongs are only the beginning.

A little humility is arrogance.

People tend to make rules for others and exceptions for themselves.

Thoreau’s Theories Of Adaptation: 1) After months of training and you finally understand all of a program’s commands, a revised version of the program arrives with an all-new command structure. 2) After designing a useful routine that gets around a familiar “bug” in the system, the system is revised, the “bug” taken away, and you’re left with a useless routine. 3) Efforts in improving a program’s “user friendliness” invariable lead to work in improving user’s “computer literacy”. 4) That’s not a “bug”, that’s a feature!