Category: business

Common sense is the most evenly distributed quantity in the world. Everyone thinks he has enough. – Descartes, 1637

The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.

Some see things as they are and ask ‘why?’; I dream of things that never were and ask ‘why not?'” – George Bernard Shaw

Unemployment helps stretch your coffee break.

Advertising Rule: In writing a patent-medicine advertisement, first convince the reader that he has the disease he is reading about; secondly, that it is curable.

Nothing puzzles me more than time and space; and yet nothing troubles me less.

Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference.

If you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it.

Just when you get going, someone injects a dose of reality with a large needle.

Never leave hold of what you’ve got until you’ve got hold of something else.

Boss, to four of his employees: “I’m really sorry, but I’m going to have to let one of you go.”

Black Employee: “I’m a protected minority.”

Female Employee: “And I’m a woman.”

Oldest Employee: “Fire me, buster, and I’ll hit you with an age

discrimination suit so fast it’ll make your head spin.”

…To which they all turn to look at the helpless young, white, male

employee, who thinks a moment, then responds: “I think I might be gay…”

Never do anything you wouldn’t be caught dead doing.