Category: bush

Q. What do the American Flag and Laura Bush have in common

A? They both go down in the name of the president

On the bottom 3 rungs of hell are: Richard Nixon, 3rd from the bottom; Ronald Reagan, 2nd from hell’s lowest rung; and George W. Bush, who actually doesn’t have a rung, because when you’re at the very bottom, you don’t need one.

So Smirk’s a little peeved about this, so he asks Tricky Dick, “Hey, Nixon, how come you’re 3rd from the bottom, I mean, with Watergate and all?”

Nixon replies “Well, Watergate certainly was a scandal, and I am not a crook, but nobody, I mean nobody can say that I didn’t do my own thinking. Hell, I did everybody’s thinking, the stupid shits!”

So George W. says, “Well if you say so, but how ’bout you Ronnie, for sure you never did your own thinking, Hell, Nancy had to consult the Ouija board to find out if you should pick your nose or pick somebody for a cabinet post.”

Ronnie Ray-gun replies, “Well fella, that may be true, but at least I was elected. With a majority. Twice.”

Why doesn’t George W. Bush eat parrots?
A little thing called cannibalism.

We take you now to the Oval Office
.
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What’s happening?

Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

George: Great. Lay it on me.

Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.

George: That’s what I want to know.

Condi: That’s what I’m telling you.

George: That’s what I’m asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes.

George: I mean the fellow’s name.

Condi: Hu.

George: The guy in China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The new leader of China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The Chinaman!

Condi: Hu is leading China.

George: Now whaddya’ asking me for?

Condi: I’m telling you Hu is leading China.

George: Well, I’m asking you. Who is leading China?

Condi: That’s the man’s name.

George: That’s whose name?

Condi: Yes.

George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader
of China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle
East.

Condi: That’s correct.

George: Then who is in China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir is in China?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Then who is?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of
China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

Condi: Kofi?

George: No, thanks.

Condi: You want Kofi?

George: No.

Condi: You don’t want Kofi.

George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk.
And then get me the U.N.

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi?

George: Milk! Will you please make the call?

Condi: And call who?

George: Who is the guy at the U.N?

Condi: Hu is the guy in China.

George: Will you stay out of China?!

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the
U.N.

Condi: Kofi.

George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

(Condi picks up the phone.)

Condi: Rice, here.

George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we
should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese
food in the Middle East?

President george w. bush is hit by a strong case of constipation. he sends his
spanish secretary, who knows little english, to the local hospital. she tells
the doctor, “big president bush, no s***.”
the doctor understands and gives him some medicine to take with him.

the next day, the secretary comes back again and says, “big president, no
s***.”

the doctor gives him even stronger medicine. a few days later, the secretary
comes yet again and says, “big president, big no s***.”

the doctor gives him the strongest medicine he has.

the next day, the secretary comes back to the doctor and says, “ba-boom! big
s***, no president.”

George W. Bush was out walking when he saw Moses.
“Hey, Moses! STOP!!” he yelled. But Moses walked on, ignoring him. After a few
blocks, Bush caught up with him. “Moses, why didn’t you stop and talk to me?”
asked Bush. “Well,”
Moses replied, “The last time I talked to a bush, I wandered the desert for 40
years.”

GEORGE IS ANOTHER WHAY TO SAY TRAITOR.

Former U.S. President George Bush said he would like to see his son, Governor
George W. Bush, in the White House.
Polls, however, indicate that the public is fed up with the Monica Lewinsky
scandal and does not want to see any more Bush in the White House.

Q: Why does President Bush have so much trouble speaking properly?
A: Poor puppeteering.

“I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the
future.”
– Governor George W. Bush

He’s the hunted man
He’s so hard to find
Where’d he flee or are we blind?
Can he move at all,
Or can we even hear his calls?

Is he alive or dead?
What new thoughts are in his head?
Pakistan is where
Why should they even care?

He was trained to kill
In remote Afghani fields
Where he planned the crime
Against all of mankind

Now we don’t hunt him
Got new plans for the world
Planning his vengeance
That he will soon unfurl

Now the time is here
For hunted man to spread fear
A new tape from the grave
Thought he was killed in a cave

Still we can’t find him
Now they just turn their heads
Who else will hunt him?
Till he has his revenge

Where has his trail lead?
Fills the country full of dread
Spinning as fast as they can
Hunted man lives again!

Thousands of people flock to the annual Burning Man festival in The Black Rock
Desert north of Reno, Nevada.
At this big hippie festival, people run around naked, drink and do drugs, or
as George W. Bush likes to call it, get ready to run for President.