Category: body & health

A little boy gets up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the
night. As he passes his parent’s bedroom he peeks in through the
keyhole. He watches for a moment, then continues on down the
hallway, saying to himself, “Boy, and she gets mad at me for
sucking my thumb”

ONE DAY THE 7 DWARFSWERE HAVING A BATH, AND THEY ALL FELT HAPPY. SO HAPPY GOT OUT AND THEY ALL FELT GRUMPY !

10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.
8. See if they could finally do splits.
7. See if it’s truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.
6. Cross their legs without rearranging.
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes BEFORE closing time.
4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.
3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.
2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts, too.

and, the NUMBER ONE thing men would do if they woke up with a vagina .

1. Finally find that damned G-spot.!!!!!

This is not only philosophical but is obviously pure science.

A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.

This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular culling of the weakest members.

In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.

In this way regular consumption of beer eliminates the
weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. So that’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

Guy:”Would you wear shoes if you had no feet?”

Woman:”No…”

Guy:”Then why are you wearing a bra?”

Little Timmy watched his mother spread cold cream on her face.

“Why do you do that, mommy?” he asked.

“To make myself beautiful,” said his mother, who then began
removing the cream with a tissue.

“What’s the matter?” asked Timmy. “Giving up?”

Once there was a sex penis and someone ate it and said I like the bitch sexy lemon filling

A:Are you going to da barbeque?
B:What barbeque?
A:My meat on yo grill.

Pat and mic are walking down the street when pat falls down a manhole and mic shouts down “are you alright”, ,
“yes am fine”,pat replies,
“whats down there anyway”,mic asks,
“its seems to be milk”,pat answers,
“well is it pasturised”,mic asks,
“no!its just at ma knees”pat answers.

Q: What is the best thing that comes out of a penis?

A: The Wrinkles

For years and years they told me,
“Be careful of your breasts.
Don’t ever squeeze or bruise them
And give them monthly tests.”

So I heeded all the warnings,
Protected them by law,
Guarded them oh so carefully
And always wore my bra.

After all of these precautions
My doctor found a lump
And ordered up a mammogram
To see inside the bump.

“Stand up very close,” she said
As she got my boob in line,
“Just tell me if it hurts at all –
Ah, yes, there – that’s fine.”

She stepped upon a peddle
And I can’t believe my eyes;
A plastic plate pressed down and down;
My tit was in a vise.

My skin stretched out so far
From my navel to my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed
To Swedish pancake thin.

Excruciating pain I felt
Within it’s vise-like grip.
A prisoner of this vicious thing
My poor defenseless tit.

It squeezed me first from up and down;
Then squeezed me side to side,
I’ll bet she’s never had this done
To her tender little hide.

If I had a problem when I came in
I surely don’t have it now.
If there was a cyst in there
It would have popped – KERPOW!

“There, that was good.” I heard her say
As the room was slowly swaying.
“Now let’s do the other one.”
“Lord have mercy!” I was praying.

This machine was designed by man;
Of this I have no doubt.
I’d like to stick his balls in there
And see how they’d come out!

are you afraid of heights? your fly is!