Category: bill clinton

How did Bill reply regarding questions of “coaching” Monica’s testimony?

“It wasn’t words that I put in her mouth”.

President Clinton looks up from his desk in the Oval Office to see one of his
aides nervously approach him. “What is it?” exclaims the President. “It’s this
Abortion Bill Mr. President, what do you want to do about it?” the aide replies.
“Just go ahead and pay it.” responds the President.

A man saw President Clinton smoking a pipe and asked, “Hey Bill, I thought you
were a cigar man�.
President Clinton responded, “Cigars are for pussies!”

Q: What’s the best place to photograph Clinton Administration officials?
A: A police lineup.

I see that Michael Jordan has been named president of the Washington Wizards. Now we have two presidents in Washington who know how to score.

Q: What’s the difference between the Waco ATF and Bill Clinton?
A: Bill Clinton burned 260 million people.

Bill and Hillary are out driving in the country near Hillary’s hometown. They
are low on fuel so Bill pulls into a gas station for a fill-up. The attendant
comes out and begins to pump gas into the First couple’s gas tank. As he is
doing this, he looks into the passenger window. “Hey, Hillary. We used to date
in high school, do you remember me?”, he asks. They chat for a few minutes, Bill
pays and the First couple leaves. As they drive off, Bill is feeling very proud
of himself and looks over at Hillary. “You used to date that guy? Just think
what it would be like if you had married him instead of me”, he says smugly.
Hillary looks at Bill and shrugs. Then she replies, “Well I guess you’d be
pumping gas and he would be the President�.

Q: Do you know why Clinton gave the Federal employees the day off on
Wednesday?
A: It was Secretaries’ Day and he was too cheap to buy his a
present!

Monika Lewinsky walks in to a dry cleaner’s the dry cleaner is hard of
hearing, not realizing this Monika walks up to him and say’s ” I have this black
dress and it has a stain on it”
The dry cleaner then replies ” Cum again” and Monika says ” No it’s a Mustard
stain this Time”.

The Clinton family was all taking a trip on a plane. Chelsea said,
“Daddy, if I threw 100 one dollar bills out the window, I would make 100
people happy.” Bill said,
“If I threw 100 fifty dollar bills out the window, I would make 100 people
even happier.”
Hillary said, “Oh, that’s nothing. I could throw Bill out the window and make
the whole world happy.”

Q. What does Bill say to Hillary after a romantic interlude?

A: “Honey, I’ll be home in 20 minutes.”

Why is America called the land of opportunity?
Because only in America could the lowest intern bring down the most powerful
man.

One day Bill Clinton was jogging through the streets of D.C. with two of his
Secret Service agents. He turned to one and stated “I can’t wait to get back to
the White House…I’m going to rip Hillary’s panties off”. The Secret Service
Agent asked him “Why Bill? Does jogging make you hot, make you horny?

“No” said Clinton…”they are creeping up the cracks of my ass!”