Category: bill clinton

How can you tell when Bill Clinton is lying?
His lips are moving.

Q: What do you get when you cross a crooked lawyer with a crooked politician?
A: Chelsea.

Whitehouse aide to Clinton: “What are we gonna do about the new abortion bill,
Mr. President?”
Clinton’s reply : “Shhhhh – just pay it.”

Q: How can you tell that the guy who attacked the
White house with a plane was insane?
A: He seems to have thought Clinton would be in
his -own- bedroom at night.

Hillary went into a pet shop and found a beautiful, colorful parrot.

“Does this parrot talk?” she asked.

“Yes, he does,” the manager told her.

“But why is this one only $50 and all the others are $500?” she asked.

“Well, ma’am,” the manager told her, “not everyone would want to own this parrot. He spent many years in a whore house and his language is terrible.”

“Well, I want him,” she said.

“Suit yourself,” the manager shrugged.

When she got the parrot back to the White House, she uncovered his cage and admired the colorful bird.

The parrot tilted his head to one side, looked her straight in the eye and said, “New house, new madam.” Hillary laughed.

Soon Chelsea and a friend came in and began admiring the bird. “New house, new whores,” the parrot observed. At first they were offended, but when Hilary explained about the bird’s history, they too, laughed at him.

A few minutes later the President entered the living quarters. The parrot looked up from his feeder and said “Hi, Bill”!

What were Bill Clinton’s Final Four picks?
Morehead State, Ball State University, Brigham Young University, and Oral
Roberts University.

Q: Why is Chelsea Clinton a miracle child?
A: Because lawyers use their personalities for birth control.

Clinton’s favorite instrument is not the saxophone.

Its the whore-monica.

Q: Have you heard about the new Bill Clinton doll?
A: You pull a little ring and it NEVER tells the same story twice!

Q: Did you hear they put two new faces on Mt. Rushmore?
A: Yeah, they were Bill Clinton.

The following phrase:— PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA —can be rearranged (with no letters left over, and using each letter only once) into:— TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS —Coincidence? I think not.

Saddam Hussein and George Dubya Bush met up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process.

When George Dubya sits down, he notices 3 buttons on the side of Saddam’s chair. They begin talking. After about 5 minutes, Saddam presses the first button.

A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Bush in the face. Confused, Bush carries on talking as Saddam laughs.

A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Bush in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Bush carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the 2 countries.

But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Bush in the privates, he’s finally had enough, knowing that he can’t do much without them functioning well. ‘I’m going back home!’ he tells the Iraqi. ‘We’ll finish these talks in two weeks!’

A fortnight passes and Saddam flies to the United States for talks.

As the 2 men sit down, Hussein notices 3 buttons on Bush’s chair and prepares himself for the Yank’s revenge.

They begin talking and George Dubya presses the first button. Saddam ducks, but nothing happens. Bush sniggers.

A few seconds later he presses the second button. Saddam jumps up, but again nothing happens. Bush roars with laughter. When the third button is pressed, Saddam jumps up again, and again nothing happens.

Bush falls on the floor in a fit of hysterics. ‘F*ck this,’ says Saddam. ‘I’m going back to Baghdad!’

Bush then says through tears of laughter, ‘WHAT Baghdad?’

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis