Category: bar & drinking

a group of 3 blonde walk into a bar a are chanting 64 days 64 days 64 day… the bar tender looks at them briefly then goes back to work then the next night the 3 blondes go into the chanting 64 days 64days 64 days .. again the bar tender looks at them then goes back to work once again the 3 blondes go back into the bar chanting 64 days 64 days 64 days .. finally the bar tender gets up his courage and questions why are u ladies chant 64 days? they respond we were doing a puzzel and it said 5 to 7 years and we did it in 64 days.

A guy wanted a drink. So he ran into a bar. He fell over and suffered a
concussion.

A guy went into a bar, sat down at the bar and ordered a beer. The bartender handed him a draft beer and left it in front of the guy. The bartender then returned to the other end of the bar. The guy drank half the beer and poured the other half on his left hand. The bartender saw this and just shook his head. The guy asked for another beer. The bartender handed him another and resisted the temptation to ask the guy what he was doing. Once again, the guy drank half the beer and poured the other half on his left hand.The bartender has seen a lot of strange behavior from drunk people, but this guy was sober! The guy asked for another beer. The bartender handed him another and found that he couldn’t resist asking, ‘Buddy, I can’t help noticing what you’re doing. What’s going on?’ The guy looked at him and said, ‘What does look like? My date and I are having a drink!’

The Reverend John Fuzz was pastor of a small congregation in a little
Pennsylvania town. One day he was walking down Main Street and he happened to
notice a female member of his congregation sitting in the town bar, drinking
beer. The reverend thought this was sinful and not something a member of his
congregation should do, so he walked through the open door of the bar and sat
down next to the woman. “Mrs. Fitzgerald,” the reverend said sternly. “This is
no place for a member of my congregation. Why don’t you let me take you home?”
“Sure,” she said with a slur, obviously very drunk. When Mrs. Fitzgerald stood
up from the bar, she began to weave back and forth. The reverend realized that
she had had too much to drink and he grabbed hold of her arms to steady her.
When he did, they both lost their balance and tumbled to the floor. After
rolling around for a few seconds, the reverend wound up lying on top of Mrs.
Fitzgerald, her skirt hiked up to her waist. The bartender looked over the bar
and said, “Here, here, buddy, we won’t have any of that carrying on in this
bar.”
The reverend looked up at the bartender and said, “But you don’t
understand, I’m Pastor Fuzz�.
The bartender nodded.
“Well if you’re that far you may as well finish.”

A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks.After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then he orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that one, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini.The bartender says, “Look, buddy, I’ll bring ya’ martinis all night long. But you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill.”The customer replies, “I’m peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, then I know it’s time to go home.”

Two guys walk into a bar, the tird one ducks.

Your mammas so gay she made you gay too

This truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar, he sees a big sign on the door saying ”Nerds Not Allowed — Enter At Your Own Risk!” He goes in and sits down. The bartender comes over to him. ”You smell kind of nerdy. What do you do for a living?” ”I drive a truck, and the smell is just from the computers I’m hauling.” ”Okay, truck drivers are not nerds,” he says and serves him a beer. As he is sipping his beer, a skinny guy walks in with tape around his glasses, a pocket protector with twelve kinds of pens and pencils, and a belt at least a foot too long. The bartender, without saying a word, pulls out a shotgun and blows the guy away. The truck driver is totally shocked. ”Why did you do that?” ”Not to worry, the nerds are overpopulating Silicon Valley and are in season now. You don’t even need a license.” The truck driver finishes his beer, gets back in his truck, and heads back onto the freeway. Suddenly, he veers to avoid an accident, and the load shifts. The back door breaks open and computers spill out all over the freeway. He jumps out and sees a crowd already forming, grabbing up the computers.They are all engineers, accountants, and programmers wearing the nerdiest clothes he has ever seen. He can’t let them steal his whole load. So, remembering what happened in the bar, he pulls out his gun and starts blasting away, felling several of them instantly. A highway patrol officer comes zooming up and jumps out of the car screaming at him to stop. ”What’s wrong? I thought nerds were in season,” says the truck driver. ”Well, sure,” says the patrolman. ”But you can’t bait ’em.”

A brunette walks into a bar and says, ”Gimme an M L.” The bartender says, ” What’s an M L?” She says, ” A Miller Light.” Another Brunette walks in and says, “Gimme a B L.” The bartender says, ”What’s a B L?”She says, ”Bud Light.” A dumb blonde walks in and says, ”Gimme a 15.” The bar tender says,” What’s a fifteen?” She says,” 7&7, duh!”

What do you call a shaped
tile
A reptile!

Ha Ha Ha !

By
Karandeep
Lally

Four things not to say in a gay bar.

1 Bugger me it’s hot in here!

2 Can I push your stool in?

3 Toss you for the next round!

4 Can I bum a fag?

A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself.Approaching the friend he comments, “You look terrible. What’s the problem?””My mother died in June,” he said, “and left me $10,000.””Gee, that’s tough,” he replied.”Then in July,” the friend continued, “My father died, leaving me $50,000.””Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you’re depressed.””And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000.””Three close family members lost in three months? How sad.””Then this month,” continued, the friend, “nothing!”