Category: bar & drinking

Three pieces of string walked into a bar. The first piece of string went up to the bar and asked the barman “Can i have three pints of beer please?”” The barman replied “”No sorry mate

My littl girl Abby and I were playing in the grass of our front yard and we were on the steps ready to now cooome in when she saw a spider ! She got creeped so I stepped on it and she said ” mom will it go to heaven?”” I said to her “”sure

A woman walks into a bar already wasted. She goes up to the bar and says,”Beer tender

There is this guy that walks into a bar, and sees a genie, who grants him a wish.
The guy asked for “million bucks”” and all of a sudden

3 backpackers, an Englishman,a Welshman and an Irishman walked into a bar in Sydney.The trio walk up to bar,the bartender leans over.He says “I DON’T WANT ANY FIGHTS!If you start any

There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking,
minding his own business when all of a sudden this
great big dude comes in and –WHACK!!– he knocks
him off the bar stool and says,

“That was a karate chop from Korea.””

The little guy thinks “”GEEZ”” but he gets back up on
the stool and starts drinking again when all of a sudden
–WHACK– the big dude knocks him down AGAIN and
says

Yo momma’s so fat when she ply’s “King of the Hill

Two men are at a bar talking about how dumb their wives are. One man says to the other,”my wife is so dumb. She went out and bought a car yesterday. She doesnt even know how to drive!”” The other man says to the other

A husband, let’s call him Sam, and wife, let’s call her Judy, go to the doctor for the sake of the husband and, after the doctor has fully examined Sam, comes out to talk with Judy about Sam’s diagnosis.
“Whats the matter with my husband Doctor?”” Judy asks.
“”He has a condition that is incurable. But there is one thing you can do that may help him live longer.”” the Doctor led on.
“”I’ll do anything

Mother potato told her three children it was time to get married . So the next day she asked them who they planned to get married to, the first one replied : the prince of potato’s.”splendid said the mother.The third one said she’d get married to King Tator

There were three guys stuck on an island, the first guy was a African, the second was a German, and the third one was a redneck.

While swimming at the beach the African found a magical lamp and rubbed it. A jenie came out and told them three that he would grant them all one wish.

The African went first and wished to go back to Africa with his family. Then the German went second and wished to go back to germany with his family. Finally it was the rednecks turn so the jenie asked him ,” What is your wish.”” The redneck paused and started looking around and said

Everybody in church was heading to the river cause little Johnny was going to be baptised. So the preacher takes little Johnny and says to him ” hold you’re nose and down we go””