Category: bar & drinking

ano ang pagkakaiba ng pakpak sa pekpek..ang pakpak pagbumuka ang pakapak lilipad ang ibon..pekpek pag bumuka ang pekpek papasok ang ibon

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in the bar and asks if he could buy
him a drink.
“Why of course�, comes the reply.

The first man then asks, “Where are you from?”

I’m from Ireland,” replies the second man.

The first man responds, “You don’t say. I’m from Ireland too! Let’s have
another round to Ireland.”

“Of course�, replies the second man, and they both pour back their drinks.

Curious, the first man then asks, “Where in Ireland are you from?”

“Dublin�, comes the reply.

“I can’t believe it says the first man. � I’m from Dublin too! Let’s have
another drink to Dublin!” The men both continue drinking.

Curiosity strikes again and the first man asks, “What school did you go to?”

“St. Mary’s,” replied the second man. “I graduated in ’62.”

“This is unbelievable,” the first man says. “I went to St. Mary’s and I
graduated in ’62, too!”

About that time, in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.
“What’s been going on?” he asks the bartender.

“Nothing much,” replies the bartender. “The O�Malley twins are drunk again.”

What do you get if you cross a glow-worm with a pint of beer?

Light ale.

Submitted by calamjo
Edited by yisman

A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car.

The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her.

When he looked inside the car, he saw the man’s friend, Dave, and his girlfriend kissing one another. The bartender shook his head and walked back inside.

He told the drunk that he thought it might be a good idea to check on his girlfriend.

The fellow staggered outside to the car, saw his buddy and his girlfriend kissing, then walked back into the bar laughing.

“What’s so funny?” the bartender asked.

“That stupid Dave!” the fellow chortled, “He’s so drunk, he thinks he’s me!”

Submitted by Calamjo
Editted by Curtis

Yo daddy’s so big that he couldn’t fit in the bathroom to have a shower so he doesn’t stink like a piece of shit.

yo mommas so fat, when her beeper goes off, people think shes backing up!

A bored guy sat in the bar and looking to strike up a conversation.

He turns to bartender and says, “Hey, about those Democrats in the Congress…”

“STOP pal, I don’t allow talk about politics in my bar!” interrupted the bartender.

A few minutes later the guy tried again, “People say about the Pope…”
“NO religion talk, either,” the bartender cuts in.

One more try to break the boredom,” I thought the Yankees would…”

“NO sports talk…That’s how fights start in bars!” the barman said.

“Look, how about sex. Can I talk to you about sex?”

“Sure, that we can talk about.” replies the barkeep.

“GREAT… GO SCREW YOURSELF!”

Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Curtis

A bloke goes into a pub, takes a seat at the bar, and orders five pots. The barman gives him an odd look since the bloke’s all by himself, but he serves up the five pots and lines them up on the bar.The bloke downs them….One, Two, Three, Four, Five. He finishes the last one and calls to the barman, “Four pots, please, mate!”The barman serves up four pots and lines them on the bar. The bloke downs them….One, Two, Three, Four. Then he belches loudly, sways slightly on the stool, and orders three more pots. And one after the other, he knocks them back….One, Two, Three.”Two potsh, mate!” he calls, and the barman places two pots in front of him. Down they go….One, Two. As the bloke slams the last one down on the bar, he says, “One pot, mate.” So the barman fills the glass.The bloke sits there, staring at it for a moment, trying to focus. Then he looks at the barman and says, “Y’know, it’sh a funny t’ing, but the less I drink, the drunker I get…”

My friend walks into a bar… OUCH!!!

A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk. he staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool, and with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink.The bartender politely informs the man that it appears that he has already had plenty to drink–he could not be served additional liquor at this bar but could get a cab called for him.The drunk is briefly surprised then softly scoffs, grumbles, climbs down off the bar stool, and staggers out the front door.A few minutes later, the same drunk stumbles in the side door of the bar. He wobbles up to the bar and hollers for a drink. The bartender comes over, and still politely–but more firmly refuses service to the man due to his inebriation. Again, the bartender offers to call a cab for him.The drunk looks at the bartender for a moment angrily, curses, and shows himself out the side door, all the while grumbling and shaking his head.A few minutes later, the same drunk bursts in through the back door of the bar. He plops himself up on a bar stool, gathers his wits, and belligerently orders a drink.The bartender comes over and emphatically reminds the man that he is clearly drunk, will be served no drinks, and either a cab or the police will be called immediately.The surprised drunk looks at the bartender and in hopeless anguish, cries “Man! How many bars do you work at?”

A man walks out of a bar totally hammered, only to be greeted by a snobby woman. She takes one look at him. ”You, sir, are drunk!” ”And you ma’am, are ugly. But when I wake up, I will be sober!”

A man walks into a bar. It must have hurt!