yo mama so ugly when she comes out everybody run.
Category: bar & drinking
Who needs women
A man walks into the bar and orders 2 shots of whiskey and the man drinks one and pours the other shot in his hand, the man did this 3 times before the bartender finally asks him —-why is it you drink 1 shot and pour the other in your hand.
The man replies, I’m getting my girl friend drunk!
The best pub
A Scottish man, an Englishman and an Irishman were sitting in a pub discussing
the best pubs around. The Englishman says, ��there’s a pub in the West Midlands
where the landlord buys you a drink for every that you buy.” The Scot is not
impressed and says, ��that’s nothing! In the Highlands every time you buy a
drink the landlord buys you five.” At this point the Englishman is fairly
impressed. The Irishman, totally unimpressed, says ��that’s nothing. In Dublin
there’s this pub where the landlord buys your drinks all night, and then when
the bar shuts he takes you into a room and makes love to you.” The Scot and
Englishman are well impressed and ask if the Irishman goes there a lot. He
replies ”No, but my sister told me about it.”
Alaskan drunk goes fishing
A drunken guy in Alaska decides to go ice fishing. So he packs up his stuff
and goes out onto the ice.
He starts sawing a hole in the ice, and a loud booming voice says, “YOU WILL
FIND NO FISH UNDER THAT ICE!”
The drunk looks up, ignores it, and continues on. The voice repeats, “YOU WILL
FIND NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.”
The drunk looks up and says, “God? Is this God trying to warn me?”
The voice says, “NO, I’M THE MANAGER OF THIS ICE RINK.”
The knot
A string walks into a bar and asks the waiter for a beer.
The waiter says, “I am sorry but we can’t serve strings here.”
The string goes home, ties him in a knot, and messes up his hair. He goes back
to the bar about an hour later, sits down and says, “Waiter, give me a beer.”
The waiter says,”Hey aren’t you the string who came in here earlier.”
The knot replies, “No, I’m a fraud knot.”
Slammin ’em down!
A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman, “Give me six double vodka.”
The barman says, “Wow! you must have had one hell of a day.”
“Yes, I’ve just found out my older brother is gay.”
The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks.
When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, “I’ve just found out that my younger brother is gay too!”
On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.
The bartender said “Jesus! Doesn’t anybody in your family like women?”
“Yeah, my wife!”
Pubes
why are pubes curley?
cus if they were straight they would have your eye out
The Mountains
Do mountains have ears?……………………………………………
Yes mountaineers!!!!!!
your mama is like a vacumecleaner she sucks…
your mama is like a vacumecleaner she sucks and blows
Horrible fact
one day the tramps callled USA occupied a holy land after polluting it theu turned around to pollute other holy lands of the soldiers of Allah poor guys they don,t what is waiting for them the HILL.
Wife Control
There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet.
After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, “Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?”
The third fellow says, “I’ll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees.”
The first two guys were amazed.
“What happened then?” they asked.
She said, �Get out from under the bed and fight like a man.”
Your mom is
your mom is like a toilet fat white and smells like shit!