Category: bar & drinking

what do you call 3 tamphons walking across the road 3 stuck up cunts

Two drunks are driving down the highway, drinking their beer. All of a sudden the driver notices lights flashing in his mirror; the cops are on his tail. His buddy says, “What are we going to do?”

The driver says, “Don’t worry. Just do exactly what I tell you and everything will work out perfectly. First, peel the labels off our beer bottles and we’ll each stick one on ourforehead. Then shove the bottles underneath the seat, and let me do the talking.”

They pull over and the cop walks up to the car. He looks at them kind of funny, but asks to see the guy’s driver’s license. And he asks him, “Have you been drinking?”

“Oh, no, sir,” the driver replies. “I noticed you weaving back and forth across the highway. Are you *sure* you haven’t been drinking?” the cop asks.

“Oh, no, sir,” the drunk answers. “We haven’t had a thing to drink tonight.”

“Well, I’ve got to ask you,” says the cop, “What on earth are those things on your forehead?”

“That’s easy, Officer,” says the drunk. “You see, we’re both alcoholics, and we’re on the Patch!”

A mother ask a son whats wrong and the boy said every thing! then the mother said well what did everything do to u? the boy said everything

A lady goes into a bar with her goose. Then the bartender comes up to her and
says, ��why did you have to bring the pig in with you?”

Then the lady answered, ”Excuse me, I think this is a goose.”

And the bartender says, ”Excuse me, I was talking to the goose.”

A guy walks in and sits down at a bar. The side of his face is bruised and bleeding so the bartender asks, “What in the world happened to you, buddy?”The guy says “Oh, I got in a fight with my girlfriend and I called her a two-bit whore.””Yeah,” says the bartender. “What did she do?””She hit me with her bag of quarters!”

A man walks into a bar. Ouch

There was three guys in a bar who were having a drink. The owner needed a name for his bar so he told them who ever gave him a name for his bar he would give them a free drink. The 1st guy couldn’t think of one so he went home The second guy couldn’t think of one so he went home then the fourth guy said her legs the owner said yeah that going to be the name of my bar frim now on. So the owner leaves and the guy sits on the corner and a car drives up and askes him what is he doing he said I’m waiting for her legs to open so I could get a free drink.

this guy walked into a lounge, and this was one of those type of guys that’s bold and rude and will say about anything to a woman, you know the type, and he noticed this attractive lady siting by her self. the guy walks over and sits down beside her and says, you know baby, i would kinda like to get in your pants. unshaken by his rude comment, the lady calmly looks around at the guy and says, I already have one asshole in my pants, why would I need another one?

Beer is made by fermentation caused by bacteria feeding on yeast cells and then defecating.In other words, it’s a nice tall glass of bacteria shit.

Q: Why does Mexico suck in the Olympics?

A: All the Mexicans that can run, jump, and swim are over here.

The Fart !
Shaggy and Britney were walking and one
of them farted Shaggy said It wasnt me!
Britney said whoops i did it again !
By
Karandeep
Lally

when does a book green?????
answer:when it is read.(red)