Category: bar & drinking

why is crow black?
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Joe tells his wife he is heading out to the pub for a drink. His wife starts
complaining you never take me anywhere anymore. After hours of complaining the
husband agrees to take his wife to the pub. They sit down at a table and the
husband gets up and goes to get drinks for him and his wife.

While he was gone a man walks up to Joe’s wife and tells her he wants to turn
her upside down fill her with beer and drink her dry. Joe’s wife exclaims, “you
sick pervert get out of my sight.”

Joe returned and his wife told him what happened and to go kick that guy’s
ass.

Joe said, “No way you don’t mess with a guy who can drink that much
beer”.

One day this guy walks into a bar and asks why theres a horse in the corner. The bar tender says if you put a dollar in the bucket and make the horse laugh you get all the money in the bucket. So he goes over and makes the horse laugh. The same guy comes back the next day and asks why the horse is in the cocrner. Well the bar tender says that if you make the cry you get all the money in the bucket. So he makes the horse cry. Then he comes back to the counter and the bar tender asks how he made him laugh the first day and cry the second day? The guy says the first day I said I had a bigger dick than him and the second day I proved it.

This really tough Hells-Angel type bursts into a bar and strides up to the middle of the bar.

He orders a beer, gulps it down, turns to the people at the left end of the bar and growls “All you down there… You’re all a bunch of queer cock suckers!”

He then gulps down a second beer and turns to the right side of the bar… “You’re all a bunch of stupid mother fuckers.”

All is still for a moment until a guy at the right end gets up. The Hells Angel says “Where the fuck you going?”

The guy says “I’m at the wrong end of the bar.”

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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a Beer he gets a big cup of beer he says I wanted a small cup of beer the bartender says Everything in Texas is huge He then goes to another bar after he finished his beer He asks the bar tender for a cup of coffee he gets a big cup of coffee he tells the bartender I wanted a small cup of coffee the bartender told him that everything in Texas is huge the guy then asks the bartender where the bathroom is he sayed down the hall and to the left instead the guy went down the hall and to the right a life gaurd leans over and says can i help you the guy says DONT FLUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

m.jackson on a plane with a preisdent, a footballer and some kids and its about 2 crash and the preisdent goes save the kids, and the footballer gose fuck the kids and m.jackson gose
r u sure we have time

yo mama is so stupid instead she sits on the couch and watches the television

A dog walks into a bar. He hops up on a bar stool and puts his front paws on
the bar. He looks the bartender right in the eye and says, “Hey, guess what? I’m
a talking dog. Have you ever seen a talking dog before? How about a drink for
the talking dog?”

The bartender thinks for a moment and says, “Alright. The toilets right around
the corner.”

A man went out drinking with his friends and came home the next morning to find his wife waiting for him. He apologized for worrying her but proceeded to tell her that he had been in the most elegant bar in the world! “Everything was gold.. the carpets, the glasses, the cutlery, the curtains and even the urinal. Here… I have a book of matches in my pocket. Phone if you don’t believe me.”The incredulous wife did just that and asked the manager, “Is everything in your establishment really gold?” “Yes,” he replied, “everything is gold colored.”” Even the urinal?” she queried.The manager put his hand over the phone and said to his bartender, “This is the wife of that guy who relieved himself in the tuba last night.”

your house is so dirty that the rats have to ride dirt bikes

SADDAM HUSSEIN CALLED USA AND TOLD THEM ILL GIVE YOU $100,000,000 IF YOU MAKE A STAMP OF MY FACE ……………….SO USA AGREAD. 2 WEAKS AFTER USA CALL BACK SADDAM AND SAY IAM SORRY THE STAMPS DID NOT WORK OUT,HE SAID WHY?THE PEOPLE ARE SPITTING ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE STAMP.