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A man comes home late one night, drunk.
“Where have you been?” asks his wife.
“In the Golden Bar! They have golden chairs, golden glasses, golden beer, and a golden urinal!”
This sounds awfully suspicious to the wife, who calls the Golden Bar.
“Do you have golden chairs?”
“Yes.”
“Do you have golden glasses?”
“Yes.”
“Do you have golden beer?”
“Yes.”
“Do you have a golden urinal?”
“Hold on.”
On the other end, she hears “I think we have a line on the guy who pissed in your saxophone.”
De cite tipuri este sexul?
De patru tipuri:
1. Cind ai cu cine si n-ai cu ce – tragic
2. Cind ai cu ce si n-ai cu cine – trist
3. Cind ai cu cine, ai cu ce si n-ai unde –
studentesc
4. Cind ai cu cine, ai cu ce, ai unde, dar DE CE!
– filozofic
farhan shah iam iin live in sukkur
A man walks into a bar with a dog and asks the bartender if he’d like to buy
the dog for $900. The bartenders says, “It’s just an ugly mongrel, why would I
want to pay $900 for it?”
The guy says, “This dog is specially trained to give blow jobs and he will do
it on command as many times as you like. You’ll notice he has no teeth and let
me tell you, it’s the best BJ you’ll ever get.”
“Sold”, yells the bartender as he empties the register and takes the dog
home.
Two days later the guy walks back in the bar and the bartender is there
with the dog. The bartender grabs the guy by the shirt and says, “This dog can’t
give BJ’s. I want my money back”!!!
The guy says, “There must be some type of problem, let’s go in your back
room”. Once there, the guy tells the bartender to drop his pants.
The guy then turns to the dog and says “OK Rover. I’m going to show you how to
do this ONE MORE TIME……
Difficult words to say when you are drunk……
* Innovative
* Preliminary
* Proliferation
Impossible words to say when you are drunk…..
* Thanks, but I dont want sex
* No, I dont want another drink
* No Kebab for me, thanks
* Sorry, but you are not quite good looking enough for me
* Good evening officer
After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says “Hey Sen~or, I would like the world’s best beer, a Corona.”The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The guy from Budweiser says “I’d like the best beer in the world, give me ‘The King Of Beers’, a Budweiser.”The bartender gives him one. The guy from Coors says “I’d like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors.”He gets it. The guy from Guinness sits down and says “Give me a Coke.”The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered. The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask “Why aren’t you drinking a Guinness?”The Guinness president replies “Well, if you guys aren’t drinking beer, neither will I.”
Four guys are hanging out at a bar, and one gets up to go to the bathroom. While he is gone, one of the others sparks up a conversation about his son.He says, “I was afraid to think of my son’s future when he was working as a secretary for a Real estate agency, but when he left that job, he started his own agency, and he’s so rich now, that he gave his best friend a new house for his birthday!”Another man says, “I thought my son was going nowhere when he had a job getting coffee for a stockbroker, but when he left that job, he started playing the market, and now he’s so rich, he gave his best friend a million dollars in stock for his birthday!”Another man says, “I thought my son wasn’t going anywhere with his job as a secretary in a car dealership, but now he owns his own dealership, and he gave his best friend a new Mercedes for his birthday!”The fourth man returned from the bathroom, and they asked him about his son.The fourth man replied, “Well, I fear for my son’s future because he’s a hair stylist, and last year, I found out that he was gay, but, on the plus side, his four boyfriends gave him a new house, a million in stock, and a Mercedes for his birthday.”
Three guys are sitting in a bar, another guy walks in and points
to the guy in the middle and says, “Hey you! I just screwed your
mom and it was soooo great!” By then everyone was expecting a
fight. But the guy didn’t do nothing. So the Drunk man goes and
sits in the other side of the bar.
15 minutes later he comes back and points at the same guy and
says, “I just had the sex with your mom, and it was SWEEET..”
Everyone was really expecting a fight this time, but then again
nothing happened and the Drunk man goes back to the other side
of the bar.
Then again another 15 min. pass and the guy comes back and says,
“I saw…” and the other man interuped him, turned to him and
says, “Dad, your drunk! Go Home!”
How come they dont have drivers ed and sex ed in Iraq on the say day? Because they dont wanna wear out the camel
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to you!
A guy traveling through the prairies of the USA stopped at a small town and went to a bar. He stood at the end of the bar and lit up a cigar. As he sipped his drink, he stood there quietly blowing smoke rings.
After he blew nine or ten smoke rings into the air, an angry American Indian approached him and said, “Now listen buddy, if you don’t stop calling me that I’ll kick your head in!”
what times bed time in michael jacksons never, never land ranch ?when the big hand touches the little hand