Category: animals

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was dead.

Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. “Don’t worry, son. Your mother will come back. She’s only bringing people babies and making them happy.”

The next night, it’s father’s turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, the baby stork is crying, and mother is saying “Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he’s bringing joy to new mommies and daddies.”

A few days later, the stork’s parents are desperate: their son is absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he’s been all night.

The baby stork says, “Nowhere. Just scaring the hell out of college students!”

there was 3 bears and the father was Shut up mom was non ya buisness and there son was trouble. Trouble was out picking berries and he got lost so his parents came to find him. Whe they were driving and looking for him a cop pulled them over. Mama and papa bear stoped and the cop said, ” Did you know you were speeding?”” No said papa bear. Sir what’s your name Shut up. So the cop went over to mama’s side and said ma’m what’s your name? None ya buisness. Are u two looking for trouble

A professor at the University of Greece in Kalamata is giving a lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: “How many people here believe in ghosts?””

About 90 students raise their Tsigara(cigarettes). “”Well that’s a good start.

Out of those of you who believe in ghosts

One day a rich man was looking for a gift for his daughter. He saw a beautiful white horse who was owned by a poor man. He offered $500 for it, but the poor man replied,
“I don’t know mister it don’t look so good.””
The next day the rich man offered $1000 for the horse. But the poor man replied

once there were three aliens who crashed their plane on earth. These aliens did not know any language. SO they decided to learn. The first one said ” I am the smartest

A man goes to Africa on a safari. While there, he comes upon an
elephant in great pain, with a giant thorn in its foot. The man
very carefully approaches the elephant, and gingerly removes the
thorn from its foot. The elephant begins to walk away, then turns
and stares at the man for a full minute, locking eyes with him.
The elephant then continues on its way.

“I wonder if I ever see that elephant again if it will remember
me?”” the man muses to himself.

It is a few years later

This guy was lonely and so he decided life would be more fun if he had a pet.

So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede (100-legged bug) , which came in a little white box.

He took the box back home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the bar to have a drink.

So he asked the centipede in the box, “Would you like to go to Frank’s with me and have a beer?”” But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered him a bit

A Scotsman was on his first visit to a zoo and he sees an animal that he has never seen before, so he asks the zoo keeper “what animal it this””.The zoo keeper replies “”Thats a moose sir

A man goes to the pet shop looking for a talking parrot. He walks up to the store manager and asks if they have any talking parrots. The manager replies with,”We only have one left. His name is Chet. If you put fire under him he will sing christmas carols.”” The man is interested so he pulls out his lighter. He holds up Chet’s left wing and starts up the lighter. “”Silent Night

A man was driving his truck down an old country lane, when his truck stalled and fell into a ditch. Well, it just so happend to be that there was a farmer about a block away from the accident. The man saw that that farmer had a horse and asked if his horse could pull out his truck. The farmer said “Ok

there was a man who walked into the vet’s office and he said his bird was sick, so the doctor put the stethoscope to the bird and said “your bird is dead then the man was crying and said how could he be dead