You know you’ve been out of college too long when…
– Your potted plants stay alive.
– Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.
– You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
– 6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
– You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.
– You carry an umbrella.
– You watch the Weather Channel.
– Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook-up and break-up.
– You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
– Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”
– You’re the one calling the police because those damn kids next
door don’t know how to turn down the stereo.
– Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
– You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
– Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
– You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds.
– Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.
– You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
– Dinner and a movie – The whole date instead of the beginning
of one.
– MTV News is no longer your primary source for information.
– You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids, not
condoms and pregnancy test kits.
– A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good stuff.”
– You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
– Grocery lists are longer than macaroni and cheese, Diet Pepsi
and Ho-ho’s.
– “I just can’t drink the way I used to,” replaces, “I’m never
going to drink that much again.”
– Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for
real work.
– You don’t get liquored up at home, to save money, before going
to a bar.
– It takes you all night to do what you used to do all night.