Yours Fun Portal !
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Nana!
Nana who?
Nana you business!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Neal!
Neal who?
Neal and pray!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Nebraska!
Nebraska who?
Nebraska girl for a date she might say yes!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Nettie!
Nettie who?
Nettie as a fruitcake!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Nevada!
Nevada who?
Nevada saw you look so bad, you should be bed!
Q:Why was the little ant confused?
A:Because all of his uncles were ants
One day a blonde called the fire station to report a fire.the
guys said “how do you get there the blonde said “Durrr with the
truck.”
The last words of a chemist:16. O no, wrong beaker…17. The fire alarm is just being tested.18. Now you can take the protection window away…
Two women were at a bar. One looked at the other and said, “You know, 80
percent of all men think the best way to end an argument is to make love.”
“Well,” said the other woman,” that will certainly revolutionize the game of
hockey!”
OLD” IS WHEN….. Your sweetie says, “Let’s go upstairs and make love,” and you answer, “Honey, I can’t do both!”
“OLD” IS WHEN….. Your friend compliments you on your new alligator shoes and you’re barefoot.
“OLD” IS WHEN….. A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.
“OLD” IS WHEN….. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
“OLD” IS WHEN….. You don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.
“OLD” IS WHEN….. You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
“OLD” IS WHEN….. “Getting a little action” means you don’t need to take any fiber today.
“OLD” IS WHEN….. “Getting lucky” means you find your car in the parking lot.
“OLD” IS WHEN….. An “all nighter” means not getting up to pee!
Q: How many Soviet emigres does it take to change a light bulb?A: Four. One to stand on a chair and hold the bulb, two to lift the chair by its legs, one to call an American and to ask which way to turn the chair.
Q.Why did the appleroll?
A.Because he say the appleturnover!
A woman is picked up by Dennis Rodman in a bar. They like each other and she goes back with him to his hotel room. He removes his shirt revealing all his tattoos and she sees that on his arm is one which reads, “Reebok”. She thinks that’s a bit odd and asks him about it. Dennis says, “When I play basketball, the cameras pick up the tattoo and Reebok pays me for advertisement.”A bit later, his pants are off and she sees “Puma” tattooed on his leg. He gives the same explanation for the unusual tattoo. Finally, the underwear comes off and she sees the word “AIDS” tattooed on his penis. She jumps back with shock..”I’m not going to do it with a guy who has AIDS!”He says, “It’s cool baby, in a minute it’s going to say “ADIDAS”.
A bartender asks a guy sitting at the bar, “What’ll you have?”
“A scotch, please.” The guy replied.
The bartender gives him the drink and says, “That’s five dollars.” “What are you talking about?” the man replies. “I don’t owe you anything for this.”
The fellow sitting next to him at the bar was a lawyer, who decided to get into the discussion. “You know,” he tells the bartender, “he’s got you there. In the original offer, constituting a binding contract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of payment.”
The irritated bartender says to the first guy, “Fine. You beat me for a drink. But I don’t ever want to see you in here again.”
The following day, the very same guy comes back into the bar. The bartender says, “What the heck are you doing in here? I told you not to come back!”
The guy replies, “What are you talking about? I’ve never been in this place before in my life!”
The bartender looks confused. “I’m sorry then, but this is really weird. You must have a double.”
The man immediately replies, “Thank you very much! Make it a scotch.”
There was an Aggie, a Longhorn, and a Bug Eater.
They attempted to rob a bank but got caught.
They went to court and were sentenced to the electric chair.
The guys operating it told them that if they survived they were free to go.
The Longhorn went first. They asked him if he had any last words to say. He told them no. He pressed the button and nothing happened so he was free to go.
The bug eater went next. They asked him if he had any last words to say. He said no and pressed the button. Nothing happened and he was free to go.
The Aggie went next. They asked him if he had any last words.
“I think if you plug the chair in, it’ll work better.”
What’s really good on cherry pie and really bad on pussy?
Crust!
Submitted by Curtis
Editted by yisman