All men are idiots … I married their king.
Author: admin
Question and answer Christmas joke
Q: What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? A: Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
Blueberry hill
there are three boys and one came to school late the techer said weir were you he said on blueberry hill he said ok take your sate and the seken boy came in and he only had pants on and the techer said weir were you and he said on blueberry hill ok take your sete the threed boy came in and the techer said weir were you he said on blueberry hill ok take your sate then a girl came in and the techer said weir were you no let me gess you were on blueberry hill no I am blueberry hill.
Yo mama is so stupid
Yo mama so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!
You used to kiss me
An older couple were lying in bed one night.
The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.
She said: “You used to hold my hand when we were courting.”
Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.
A few moments later she said: “Then you used to kiss me. ” Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.
Thirty seconds later she said: “Then you used to bite my neck.”
Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“To get my teeth!”
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
Office Party?
Jhon woke up after a hard night of parting at his annual office party.Due to his major hangover, and the lack of memory of the night before, he figured it had probobly been pretty bad. He walked into the kitchen where his wife was making coffe, and said “last night was pretty bad huh” “you have no idea” she replied ,”you made a complete fool of yourself in front of your boss”
“oh piss on him” he yelled angrily
“you did, he fired you” she said
“screw that bastard”ha spat
“I did, your back to work on monday” she replied, and served him his morning coffe
Driving While Intoxicated
It seems the gentleman had over-imbibed at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn’t walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before an accident in the opposite lane took his attention to more important matters.
The inebriated driver, figuring that the trooper wasn’t coming back to him, drove home and went to bed. He was awakened in the morning by a knock at the door, created by two more state troopers.
“Are you Mr. Smith?” they asked?
He admitted that he was.
“Were you pulled over at 11:30 last night for driving under the influence?”
Again, the man admitted that was he.
“And what did you do then,” the troopers asked.”
The man replied that he drove his car home and went to bed.
“Where is your car now?” the troopers inquired. The man answered that it was in the garage.
“May we see the car?” asked the troopers.
The man answered, “Sure,” and opened the garage.
Inside was the state trooper’s car.
The idiotic blondes
There was blonde rowing a boat in a field,another blonde drove by stopped and said its blondes like you that give us a bad name—if i could swim i would come out there and kick your ass
Did you hear about Polish
Did you hear about Polish woman that
wanted to trade her menstral cycle for a Honda.
Un d�a caminaba un se�or
Un d�a caminaba un se�or por uno de los pasillos del Hospital Psiqui�trico con el doctor de turno. Mientras caminaba, ve a un hombre en una silla de ruedas muy melanc�lico y desolado que lloraba afanadamente y se quejaba exclamando una y otra vez: “�Ay Lol�!, �por qu� me dejaste Lol�!”
Entonces el se�or le pregunta al doctor:
“Doctor �y a ese hombre qu� le pas�?”
“F�jese usted que ese se�or se iba a casar, ya ten�a todo lo de la boda listo y planeado y justo en el momento de la boda, la novia no apareci� y lo dej� plantado. Desde ese d�a ha estado as�.”
Siguen caminando el se�or y el doctor. M�s adelante pasan por otro de los pasillos y ve el se�or que va con el doctor a un hombre con camisa de fuerza que se pegaba una y otra vez contra la pared, entonces el se�or le pregunta al doctor:
“Doctor �y a ese qu� le pas�?”
“�Ah no, pues ese fue el que se cas� con Lol�!”
How to occupy an idiot.
Q.How do you occupy an idiot.
A.Write turn over on both sides of a piece of paper then give it to the idiot.
What does a frog say
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter:
Mother: “What does the cow say?”
Child: “Moooo!”
Mother: “Great! What does the cat say?”
Child: “Meow.”
Mother: “Oh, you’re so smart! What does the frog say?”
The wide-eyed little three-year-old looked up at her mother and replied, “Bud.”