Author: admin

You might be a redneck if…You’re a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.On your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.Your parakeet knows the phrase “Open up, Police!” You saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting. In tough situations you ask yourself, “What would Curly do?” Taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen. You think the last words to the Star Spangled Banner are “Play Ball…” You have a color coordinating rope that ties down your car hood. You bring your dog to work with you. Your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold. You’ve ever held somebody up with a caulk gun. You have every episode of “Hee Haw” on tape. Your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. Your masseuse uses lard.Your wife’s best shoes have steel toes. You use your fishing license as a form of I.D. On stag night, you take a real deer. You use a 55 Chevy as a guest house. Your back porch is bigger than your house. There is more oil in your cap than in your car.

The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with the U.S. auto makers for the past five years, whereby the auto makers were installing black boxes in four wheel drive pick-up trucks in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.

They were surprised to find in 49 of the 50 states the last words of drivers in 61.2% of fatal crashes were, “Oh, Shit!”

Only the state of Texas was different, where 89.3% of the final words were, “Hey Y’all, hold my beer and watch this!”