You’re a redneck if…. You have a Hefty bag on the passenger side window of
your car.
Author: admin
Here we go again
A blonde walks down the street and sees a banana peel a hundred yards ahead, and she sighs.
“Here we go again.”
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
Italian, Black, and a Jew
Three best friends are at the corner bar on a Friday night as usual. One of them is an Italian, one is Black and the other is Jewish.
They are sitting around drinking some beers, and they make a wager. They bet who can make love to their wife and make her scream the longest. They agree to return next week and compare.
Next week, they all arrive at the bar at the usual time with smiles on their faces. The Italian guy says, “I definitely won. I took my wife out to dinner, bought her roses, then took her home and made love to her. She screamed for an hour.”
The black guy says, “Man, that’s nothin’. I cooked dinner for my wife, and for dessert I poured honey all over her and made love to her like never before. She screamed for two hours.”
The Jewish guy chimes in, ” I got you both beat. I made love to my wife for 3 minutes, pulled out, then wiped my schmeckel on the curtain. She’s still screaming!”
Taliban Poetic Justice
My answer to “What to do with Bin Laden?” Well, this sounds good to me. It
would be true poetic justice:
Killing him will only create a martyr. Holding him prisoner will inspire his
comrades to take hostages to demand his release. Therefore, I suggest we do
neither.
Let the Secret Service, Navy Seals, or whomever covertly capture him, fly him
to an undisclosed hospital, and have surgeons quickly perform a complete sex
change operation.
Then we return “her” to Afghanistan to live as a woman under the Taliban.
Elaphants
why couldn’t the elphant fit on the bed because it always broke because he was fat
One day, George W. Bush was putting together a puz
One day, George W. Bush was putting together a puzzle. He got really stumped
and became very frustrated, so he decided to ask Laura for help.
“It’s supposed to be a tiger,” George whined.
”Honey,” said Laura, “Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box!”
Yo mama is so ugly
Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said “Sorry, no professionals.”
AIDS or Alzheimer’
A doctor called up a fellow and said, “Mr. Michaels I have some distressing news. As you know, your wife was in for some blood tests recently.”
The guy says, “Yes, that’s right. Is there anything wrong?”
“Well,” the doctor replies, “here’s the thing. There’s another women who came in for blood tests also and she has the exact same name as your wife.
Now, the problem is, I got the results of their tests and one of them has aids and the other has Alzheimer’s.”
“Oh, my God,” the man said, “what will I do, doc?”
“Well, I’ve been giving this some thought,” said the doctor, “and here’s what you do. Take her for a ride out in the country. When you get way out there, throw her out of the car and take off fast.
“Then what?” says the distraught man.
“Well…if she finds her way home, whatever you do, DON’T FUCK HER!”
Lawyers do it verbally….
Lawyers do it verbally.
Russian Beauties
What do you call a beautiful girl in Russia?
A tourist.
Yo Momma like a
Yo Momma is like a rifle one cock and she Blows
Men Are Like Wine
Men are like fine wine: They all start out as grapes, and
it is your job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark
until they mature into something you’d want to have with
dinner.