Author: admin

This guy owns a horse stud farm, and gets…

Posted on by admin

This guy owns a horse stud farm, and gets a call from a friend. ” I know
this midget with a speech impediment who wants to buy a horse, I’m
sending him over.”

The midget arrives, and the owner asks if he wants a male or female
horse.

“A female horth,” the midget replies. So the owner shows him one. “Nith
looking horth, can I thee her mouth?” So the owner picks up the midget
and shows him the horse’s mouth. “Nith mouth. Can I thee her eyeth?”

So the owner picks up the midget and shows the eyes. “Ok, what about the

earth?” Now the owner is getting pissed, but he picks up the midget one
more time and shows the ears. “OK, finally, I’d like to see her twat.”
With that, the owner picks up the midget and shoves his head up the
horse’s ass, then pulls him out.

Shaking his head, the midget says, “perhapth I should rephrase. I’d like
to see her run!”

Limit Your Sex Life

Posted on by admin

The newlyweds were suffering from exhaustion and after an examination, their doctor advised, “It’s not unusual for young people to overdo things during the first weeks of marriage. What you both need is rest. For the next month I want you to limit your sex life to those days of the week with an “R” in them. That is, Thursday, Friday and Saturday.”

Since the end of the week was approaching the newlyweds had no immediate difficulty following the medico’s orders. But on the first night of scheduled rest the young bride found herself eager as a beaver.

Hubby fell asleep, but she tossed and turned and finally nudged her spouse into partial wakefulness.

Expecting daylight, and confused with the darkness, he asked, “What day is it honey?”

She looks at him with a gleam in her eyes and says, “Mondray.”

3 bullets

Posted on by admin

This pregnant woman got shot 3 times in the stomach while pregnant with triplets. The bullets went into all 3 of the babies. The doctor told the mother that the bullet will come out of their bodies at age 14.

At age 14, one of the girls comes up to the mom and says I went to the bathroom and pissed out a bullet. The mom explains the story to her daughter. The second daughter comes up to her mom and says mom i just pissed out a bullet. The mom explains the story to her. The son comes up to his mom and the mom says let me guess u pissed out a bullet. The boy says no i was jerking off and I shot the cat!!!

Lose everything?

Posted on by admin

A elderly woman was in the habit of playing cards one night a month with a group of friends. She was concerned because she always woke up her husband when she came home late at night.

One night she decided not to rouse him. So she undressed in the living room and, purse over arm, tip-toed nude into the bedroom, only to find her husband sitting up in bed reading.

“Darn it woman!” he exclaimed. “Did you lose everything?”

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman

Bubba & Earl

Posted on by admin

Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of
bottles of Bud.
Bubba says, “Looked that up ahead, Earl, it’s a poll-ice roadblock!! We’re
going to get busted far drinking’ these here beers!!”
“Don’t worry, Bubba”, Earl said. “We’ll just pull over and finish drinking’
these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the
bottles under the seat.”
“What far?” asked Bubba.
“Just let me do the talking’ Okay?” said Earl.
Well, they finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat, and
each put a label on their forehead.
When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, “You boys been drinking’?”
“No, sir�, said Earl. “Web�s on the patch!”

Baby Gates and Micro

Posted on by admin

For the first time in, oh, a decade, I think, something from Microsoft shipped on time: Jennifer Katharine Gates, weighed 8 pounds 6 ounces when she was downloaded, er, born on Friday, April 26 at 6:11pm. And what do Baby Gates and Daddy’s products have in common? 1. Neither can stand on its own two feet without a LOT of third party support. 2. Both barf all over themselves regularly. 3. Regardless of the problem, calling Microsoft Tech Support won’t help. 4. As they mature, we pray that they will be better than that which preceeded them. 5. At first release they’re relatively compact, but they seem to grow and grow and grow with each passing year. 6. Although announced with great fanfare, pretty much anyone could have produced one. 7. They arrive in shaky condition with inadequate documentation. 8. No matter what, it takes several months between the announcement and the actual release. 9. Bill gets the credit but someone else did most of the work. 10. For at least the next year, they’ll suck.