if i saw a flying bum i would grab a glass of milk and say yuck that was crap
Author: admin
PREGNANT BLOND
WHAT DID THE BLOND SAY WHEN SHE FOUND OUT SHE WAS PREGNANT?BLOND:IS IT MINE?
little timmy
Little timmy always sat in the front pew of the church and gave
a hand full of change when the collection basket passed.One
sunday the pastor noticed that timmy started to put his change
in the collection basket but decided to put his money in his
pocket.
After service little timmy,little timmy rushed up to the
pastor and wanted to hand him the handful of change,but the
pastor told timmy that he did not need the money and that he
should put it in the basket instead.Little timmy said “Oh no
father,you need it more than anyone else does,because my dad
says that your the poorest paster we ever had.”
Nice hat
Thats a nice hat you’re wearing. I was thinking about buying two of them… one to shit in and one to cover it up with.
Forgive Me Father
An elderly Frenchman who is a Catholic goes to confession and says to the
Priest: “Father, I have been a very bad man. I have come to seek forgiveness for
my sins”.
The Priest can see that the man has a great deal on his mind and says: “Tell
me what it is my son. It cannot be that bad”.
The man replies: “In the Second World War a young Jewish lady came to me and
asked me to hide her from the Germans. I did and made a place for her in the
attic”.
“But my son”, replied the Priest “that is an act of great kindness for which
you will be rewarded”.
“Yes”, said the man “but I was lonely and in order to let her stay, I demanded
sexual favors from her”.
“Oh. I see”, said the Priest. “But my son, times were so hard then. You sought
solace in the woman you were protecting. You are forgiven”.
“Thank you”, said the man “that has been a great weight off of my shoulders.
While I’m here, do you think that I should tell her the war has ended?”
Yo mama is so nasty
Yo mama so nasty I called her to say hello, and she ended up giving me an ear infection.
Adam and Eve Must Be Russian
A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve
frolicking in the Garden of Eden.
“Look at their reserve, their calm,” muses the Brit. “They must be
British.”
“Nonsense,” the Frenchman disagrees. “They’re naked, and so beautiful.
Clearly, they are French.”
“No clothes, no shelter,” the Russian points out, “they have only an apple
to eat, and they’re being told this is paradise. They are Russian.”
A very bad Gahndi pun
Ghandi walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that his feet became quite thick and hard. Even when he wasn’t on a hunger strike, he did not eat much and became quite thin and frail. He also was quite a spiritual person. Furthermore, due to his diet, he ended up with very bad breath.He became known as a super-calloused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.(bonus keywords for the serach engines: Mary Poppins, Disney)
Lawyer & cat fish
What is the difference between a lawyer and a cat fish?
One is a scaly, slimy, mud sucking, bottom dwelling scavenger. The other
is a fish!
Computer lingo guide
Monitor – Keep an eye on the wood stove
Una pareja de esposos discut�a
Una pareja de esposos discut�a airadamente en la calle:
“�Te voy a demostrar que no vales nada!”
El se�or hace se�as a un taxista que se detiene frente a ellos.
“�Cuanto me cobra hasta el aeropuerto?”
“Hasta all�… sobre 18 euros.”
“�Y con mi mujer?”
“Lo mismo.”
“Ya ves… �no vales nada!”
Amen to that!
During a children’s sermon, Father Dennis asked the children what “Amen”
means.
A little boy raised his hand and said, “It means ‘Tha-tha-tha-that’s
all folks’!”