Una mujer en el 25�

Una mujer en el 25� aniversario de su matrimonio, cincuentona ella, con las carnes algo ca�das, pero con mucha ilusi�n, se viste de lencer�a fina, con medias, ligas y tacones de aguja incluidos, entra insinuante en la habitaci�n y se planta frente a su marido que est� tirado mirando la tele:

“Cari�o -dice la mujer- �te acord�s cuando nos casamos, un d�a como hoy,hace 25 a�os? Me dijiste: Te voy a comer los pechos hasta sec�rtelos. Te voy a tocar el culo hasta que se te caiga. Te voy a hacer el amor hasta que te vuelvas loca. �Y hoy no ten�s nada que decirme?”

El marido la mira de arriba a abajo y le dice:

“�Misi�n cumplida!”

This kid knows the answer!

One day at kindergarten a teacher said to the class of 5-year olds, “I’ll give $2 to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived.”

An Irish boy put his hand up and said, “It was St.Patrick.”
The teacher said, “Sorry Sean, that’s not correct.”

Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, “It was St. Andrew.”
The teacher replied, “I’m sorry, Hamish, that’s not right either.

Finally, a Jewish boy raised his hand and said, “It was Jesus Christ.”
The teacher said, “That’s absolutely right, Marvin, come up here and I’ll give you the $2.”

As the teacher was giving Marvin his money, she said, “You know Marvin, since you’re Jewish, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ.”

Marvin replied, “Yeah. In my heart I knew it was Moses, but business is business!”

Wedding Bells

Betty & Tim were killed in an auto accident on the eve of their wedding. When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter met them. They asked if they could still be married in Heaven.

“Well, let me find out if this is possible. Stay here and I will be right back.”

Six months passed and finally Peter returned.

“Yes, we can do this for you.”

“Well, as we have spent so much time together waiting for your answer, we need to know that if things don’t work out there’s a possibility that we could be divorced?’ To which St. Peter answered “It took me six months to find a priest up here…how long do you think it will take me to find a lawyer?”

Little Johnny – Give

Little Johnny is in class and the teacher is at the chalk board. She turns to the class after putting the letter “S” on the board. Ok class, I would like someone to give me a word that starts with the letter “S”. Johnny raises his hand and says “Me me me me.”The teacher says to herself “no way. hes so fouled mouth he will say shit or something.”So she calls on Suzzy. Suzzy says Sunflower.”Very good Suzzy. Then she outs the letter “f” up on the board little Johnny wonce again is saying “ME me me”. She says “Franklin give me a letter thats starts with the letter F.”Franklin says “funny teacher.”Very good Franklin.”This went on for most of the class. Finally she put the letter “R” up on the board. Johnny sat scratching his head like he was thinking real hard. She thought alright I got him.”Johnny can you give me a word that starts with the letter “R”?. Yes. Johnny says.”Rats. teacher.”Very good Johnny.”Then he said “big fucking rats three foot long with sixteen in harry dicks.”The teacher faintede.