Clinton and the Pope

President Clinton and the Pope died on the same day, and due to an administrative foul up, Clinton was sent to heaven and the Pope was sent to hell. The Pope explained the situation to the devil, he checked out all of the paperwork, and the error was acknowledged. The Pope was told, however, that it would take about 24 hours to fix the problem and correct the error.

The next day, the Pope was called in and the devil said his good-bye as he went off to heaven. On his way up, he met Clinton who was on his way down, and they stop to chat.

Pope: Sorry about the mix up.

President Clinton: No problem.

Pope: Well, I’m really excited about going to heaven.

President Clinton: Why’s that?

Pope: All my life I’ve wanted to meet the Virgin Mary.

President Clinton: You’re a day late

The wrong message

there was a girl whose mum told her never to let men see her underwear.one day, she was walking along the road when she came across a group of boys who called her.they asked her to pls climb up the tree they were standing by to get them some fruits which she did.when she returned home, she told her mum of the incident who asked her if they saw her under wear from the bottom of the tree and she willingly gave the reply “ofcourse not,mummy i was smart this time and so i pulled it before climbing”

Entra un tipo a la

Entra un tipo a la sala del doctor y dice: “Doctor, tengo sida �qu� puedo hacer?”

El doctor se queda pensativo y le dice: “C�mete un kilo de naranjas por la manana otro kilo de naranjas por la tarde y otro kilo de naranja por la noche.”

“Pero doctor, eso me va a mandar al ba�o todo el d�a.”

Y el doctor dice:

“�Eso es para que aprendas para qu� sirve el culo!”

A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced…

A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced so he went to the market looking for
a rooster. He asked the vendor for a rooster that would service all of his
many chickens and the vendor immediately recommended Randy.

The farmer took Randy back to the farm and before turning him loose in the hen
house gave him a little pep talk. “Randy, I’m counting on you to do your
stuff.”

Randy was as fast as he was furious mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. But
Randy didn’t stop there he then went to the barn and mounted all the horses,
one by one at the same frantic pace. Then he went to the pig pen where he did
the same.

“Stop, Randy, you’ll kill yourself” cried out the farmer as Randy went through
each animal on the farm.

Well, the next morning the farmer saw Randy lying on the lawn with his legs in
the air, his eyes rolled back and his tongue hanging out of his mouth. A
buzzard was already circling above Randy.

The farmer walked over to Randy and said, “You poor thing, look what you did,
you went and killed yourself. I warned you my little buddy.”

“Shhhhh whispered Randy, the buzzard’s getting closer.”

The Clinton Hillbillies (song)

(Beverly Hillbillies melody)

Well dere once was a story ’bout a man named Bill;
Da poor president couldn’t keep his willie still;
Den one day he was workin’ at his desk,
When in walks Monica and shows da boy her chest…

Boobs, that is. Two of ’em. Bodacious ta ta’s.

Well da next thing ya know, Monica is on her knees,
Mouth open wide and as happy as you please;
Bill sez, “oh yeah now-don’t say a thing,”
“If you do a good job then we’ll have a little fling.”

Blow job, that is. Phalli osculation.

Well, Bill lost his load and it fell upon her dress,
He said, “Clean it up, ‘cuz you really are a mess,
And you’re invited here to dis fine locality,
To have a heapin’ helpin’ of little Willie C.”

Da wiener, that is. Da presidential staff.

So week after week, Monica is on her knees
Keepin’ Willie and his Wiener just as happy as you please,
But then she figured out dat the fling had gone too far,
And she blabbed it all to Linda Tripp who blabbed it all to Starr.

Bad girl, that is. Cigars. Bodacious ta ta’s.

Well it weren’t too long till we all knew the score,
’bout da stuff dat went down behind da oval office door;
Da country’s in da toilet and da people cry, “No More”
But if we oust da cheatin’ jerk, den we gotta live with Gore.

Boob, that is. Great big one. Head stuck up his rear.

So now ya know da story ’bout Bill our president,
Wonderin’ if dis fling’s gonna cost him every cent;
So da moral of da story is to do it quietly,
And stay outta trouble with dat broad named Hillary.