Why are women like snow flakes?
They are all beautiful.
They are all different.
They can all be cold as ice.
But they’ll all melt when they land on your face…
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by calamjo
Author: admin
Proverb2
Old Fishing Proverb (Mach 2)
Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he’ll spend all day in a boat drinking beer.
How many women does it take to change a light…
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None. “It’s a man’s job.”
Your Fat Momma
Your momma is so fat when she wore a yellow coat people thought that she was a taxi.
Bin Laden changed his name
bin laden changed his name to BINHIDDEN
Blonde Dogs
Question: Why does a blonde dog have lumps on his head?
Answer: From chasing parked cars!
Days Ending In Y
She was so blonde that when someone told her that she was only stupid in days ending in y, she said: Good, I am not stupid all the time!
Class paper
A child at a Christian school was studying the early days of Mormonism in his class.
He wrote on his paper, “The early Mormons believed in having more than one wife. This is called polygamy. But we believe in having only one wife. This is called monotony.”
Submitted by Clark Kent
Edited by Curtis
Finger licking good
At a resort club in France, a romantic Frenchman spots an American lady
tourist entering the dining section. He swiftly rushes to her assistance,
with his usual charm and his obviously attractive dialect, “Bonjour,
madamoiselle.” “Bonjour!” She answers back, “Can you……..?” and before
she could finish her sentence, the Frenchman interrupts to say, “Anysing,
yes I can, for you. Ma cherrie.” He takes her hand, kisses her palm, licks
her fingers romantically and then continues saying, “Just as beautiful and
sweet as you are, your fingers are. What is this tasty lotion you use, ma
cherrie? And if I may ask, what is this you wanted to be assisted in?”
The lady (at that time very impressed) answered, “I’ve just been changing
my baby’s diaper’s, he has been suffering from serious diarrhea. So, I
just wanted to know where I could wash my hands.”
G dawg
~~I know why they put the G infront of the dog/dawg…..
…..Because they mean the one with the G in it.(laugh)~~
John 2
Teacher:How on earth can you write ‘wire’ with 2 r’s?
John:With a pen,miss.
BAD checks.
A woman who was a science fiction fan had all of her checks personalized with Star Wars character Han Solo (Harrison Ford) saying his famous line — ‘I’ve got a bad feeling about this’. Lots of people complimented her on how cool the checks were. When those checks had all been used up, she had tired of Star Wars and ordered new checks with religious scenes from the Bible that the same company was offering. Unfortunately, the Bible checks had room for a quote on them as well.Some faceless computer or person on the company production line must have figured that she wanted to keep the same quote that she used before. Well….. NOW her checks have: Moses parting the Red Sea saying: ‘I’ve got a bad feeling about this’, David stands in front of Goliath saying: ‘I’ve got a bad feeling about this’ Noah is building his ark, also saying ‘I’ve got a bad feeling about this’. Moses coming down off Mt. Sinai with the ten commandments saying: ‘I’ve got a bad feeling about this’. Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden captioned: ‘I’ve got a bad feeling about this’. Can you just imagine the reaction she gets now when she writes a check?