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3 robbers decide to break into a bank.
They get their big money sacks ready then they break into the bank. However, instead of seeing great big piles of cash they see little safes. They shrug and break into the safes.
‘Hang on,’ says one robber ‘since when did a bank sell milk puddings?’
They shrugged and began to scoff all the milk puddings, then they went home on a full stomach.
Next morning the news headline is: Sperm bank robbed!
lets go up stairs and fuck each other.shut up why . your my brother i dont care i wanna fuck someone ok i will suck your dick are you going to stick it in your vagina. maybye. this is fuckin great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why are blondes hurt by people’s words?
Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
A Cowboy meets an Indian herding sheep in the Black Hills.
Cowboy: “Hey, cool dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?”
Indian: “Dog don’t talk.”
Cowboy: “Hey dog, how’s it going?”
Dog: “Doin’ all right.”
Indian: (Look of shock!)
Cowboy: “Is this Indian your owner?” (pointing at the Indian)
Dog: “Yep.”
Cowboy: “How does he treat you?”
Dog: “Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play.”
Indian: (Look of total disbelief)
Cowboy: “Mind if I talk to your horse?”
Indian: “Horse no talk.”
Cowboy: “Hey horse, how’s it going?”
Horse: “Cool.”
Indian: (Extreme look of shock!)
Cowboy: “Is this your owner?” (pointing to the Indian)
Horse: “Yep.”
Cowboy: “How’s he treat you?”
Horse: “Pretty good, thanks for asking, he rides me, brushes me down often, and keeps me in a lean-to to protect me from the elements.”
Indian: (Look of total amazement)
Cowboy: “Mind if I talk to your sheep?”
Indian: “Sheep lie.”
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by, well just about the whole crew but Tantilazing had the last word.
Q. Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving
their minds?
A. Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
The bell rings and Billy and Sally, along with all the other
kids run through the classroom door. They all sit down in their
seats.
The teacher goes up to Sally and asks, “Sally what did you do
today at recess?” And Sally says happily.” I played in the sand
box.” The teacher then says,”If you can go up to the board and
spell SAND, then I will give you a fresh baked cookie. The Sally
goes up to the board and spells SAND and recieves a fresh baked
cookie.
The the teacher goes up to Billy and asks, “Billy, what did you
do at recess?” Billy replies,”I played in the sand box with
Sally.” The teacher replies, “OK, well if you can go up to the
board and spell BOX,then I will give you a fresh baked cookie.
Billy goes up to th board and spells BOX, then recieves a fresh
baked cookie.
The teacher moves on to Apu (a small muslim boy) and asks, “What
did you do today at recess?” Apu brushes the tears aside and
replies in a sad voice, “Billy and Sally threw rocks at me!” The
teacher looks at him and says, “Oh, well that sounds like racial
discrimination to me………….
if you can go up to the board and spell racial dicrimination,
I’ll give you a fresh baked cookie…”
q: what religion are alvin and the chipmunks?
a:munks
What’s the only thing not being done in the White House?
Hillary.
One day a man and a donkey walked into a bar and the man asked the bar tender “hi may i please have two beers one for me and one for my donkey friend” and the bar tender gave them the beers. Then a few minutes later the man asked for two more beers one for him and one for his donkey friend. Then the man said “excuse me while i go to the restroom” and the bar tender asked why does he keep calling you his donkey friend. and he said “hee haw hee haw he likes me, hee haw hee haw he likes me.
Why Is Sex Like Riding A Bike?
You can do it with no hands, but it’s best not to try it until you have a lot of experience.
Your momma is so poor I went to your house Pushed the door bell the toilet flushed.
Dear Mom and Dad,
Our scoutmaster told us all write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only 1 of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Chad when it happened. Oh yes, please call Chad’s mother and tell her he is OK. He can’t write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search & rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found him in the dark if it hadn’t been for the lightning.
Scoutmaster Webb got mad at Chad for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Chad said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn’t hear him. Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas can will blow up? The wet wood still didn’t burn, but one of our tents did. Also some of our clothes. John is going to look weird until his hair grows back.
We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Webb gets the car fixed. It wasn’t his fault about the wreck. The brakes worked OK when we left. Scoutmaster Webb said that a car that old you have to expect something to break down; that’s probably why he can’t get insurance on it. We think it’s a neat car. He doesn’t care if we get it dirty, and if it’s hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the tailgate. It gets pretty hot with 10 people in a car. He let us take turns riding in the trailer until the highway patrolman stopped and talked to us.
Scoutmaster Webb is a neat guy. Don’t worry, he is a good driver. In fact, he is teaching Terry how to drive. But he only lets him drive on the mountain roads where there isn’t any traffic. All we ever see up there are logging trucks.
This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out in the lake. Scoutmaster Webb wouldn’t let me because I can’t swim and Chad was afraid he would sink because of his cast, so he let us take the canoe across the lake. It was great. You can still see some of the trees under the water from the flood. Scoutmaster Webb isn’t crabby like some scoutmasters. He didn’t even get mad about the life jackets.
He has to spend a lot of time working on the car so we are trying not to cause him any trouble. Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Dave dove in the lake and cut his arm, we got to see how a tourniquet works. Also Wade and I threw up. Scoutmaster Webb said it probably was just food poisoning from the leftover chicken, he said they got sick that way with the food they ate in prison. I’m so glad he got out and become our scoutmaster. He said he sure figured out how to get things done better while he was doing his time.
I have to go now. We are going into town to mail our letters and buy bullets. Don’t worry about anything. We are fine.
Love, Cole