yo momma so fat she sat on a nintindo game cube and it became a nintindo game boy
Author: admin
Stan and Norm
Stan and Norm are out for a round of golf when Stan hits his ball into the
rough. As they are looking for the ball, Stan spots a beautiful blonde using a
bush for a restroom. He grabs Norm and they both hide behind a tree while they
have a look.
“This is incredible. A beautiful woman like that actually relieving herself in
the woods.” says Stan.
“Yeah,” says Norm “And I bet she won’t even wipe her behind when she’s
finished.”
Stan is aghast. “No way! A beautiful woman like that would never be so
disgusting.”
Norm replied, “I’m telling you she isn’t going to wipe.”
“How do you know?” asked Stan.
“I just do.” replied Norm. “I’m so confident, in fact, that I’ll bet you ten
dollars she doesn’t wipe her behind.”
“You’re on!” said Stan, thinking he was on to a sure thing.
Suddenly Norm stepped out from behind the tree and shouted “Hey, what do you
think you’re doing?”
The only thing missing from my sex life is…
The only thing missing from my sex life is other people.
What Happened in Tex
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately,
the locals had a habit of picking on strangers.
So when he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went
back into the bar; handily flipped his gun into the air caught it above his head
and fired a shot into the ceiling. ”WHICH ONE OF YOU SIDEWINDERS STOLE MY
HOSES?” he Yelled. No one answered. ”ALL RIGHT, I’M GOING TO HAVE ANOTHER’
BEER, AND IF MY HOSES ISN�T BACK OUTSIDE BY THE TIME I FINISH, I’M GOING TO DO
WHAT I DONE IN TEXAS! AND I DON’T LIKE TO HAVE TO DO WHAT I DONE IN TEXAS!”
Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The cowboy had another beer, walked
outside, and his horse was back! He saddled up and started to ride out of Town.
The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, ”Say partner, before you go .
. . what happened in Texas?” The cowboy turned back and said, ”I had to walk
home.”
Unos abuelos se quedan unos
Unos abuelos se quedan unos d�as con sus dos nietos adolescentes y, como s�lo disponen de dos camas, deciden que la chica duerma con la abuela y el chico con el abuelo. De madrugada se oye al abuelo gritar muy contento:
“�Quiero una mujer! �Quiero una mujer!”
La abuela se levanta para ver que ocurre; al entrar en la habitaci�n, su nieto le solicita:
“�Por favor, abuela, dile que lo que tiene en la mano, no es de �l!”
Letter to God
A little boy wanted $100 very badly; his mother told him to pray to God for it.
He prayed for two weeks but nothing turned up. Then he decided perhaps he should write God a letter requesting the $100.
When the post office received the letter addressed to God, they opened it and decided to send it to the President.
The President was so impressed, touched and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy $5. He thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5 and sat down to write a thank you letter, which read as follows;
Dear God,
Thank you very much for sending me the money. I noticed that you had to send it through Washington. As usual, those thieving scallys deducted $95.
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
Real Bicyclist
A man decided that he was going to ride a 10 speed bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He got as far as Black Canyon City before the mountains just became too much and he could go no farther. He stuck his thumb out but after 3 hours, hadn’t gotten a single person to stop.
Finally a guy in a Corvette pulled over and offered him a ride. Of course, the bike wouldn’t fit in the car. The owner of the Corvette found a piece of rope lying by the highway and tied it to his bumper. He tied the other end to the bike and told the man that if he got to going to fast, to honk the horn on his bike and that he would slow down.
Everything went fine for the first 30 miles. Suddenly, another Corvette blew past them. Not to be outdone, the Corvette pulling the bike took off after the other. A short distance down the road, the Corvettes, both going well over 120 mph, blew through a speed trap.
The police officer noted the speeds from his radar gun and radioed to the other officer that he had 2 Corvettes headed his way at over 120 mph.
He then relayed, “and your not going to believe this, but there’s guy on a 10 speed bike honking to pass”
Twin beds
After a complete physical exam, the doctor commented to his female patient, “I can’t explain it but your right breast is three times longer than your left one.”
She blushed and explained, “My husband loves to sleep with my right breast in his mouth.”
“As a matter of fact, I like to sleep the same way with my wife but both of her breasts are of normal size,” the doctor remarked.
“Well then, I guess you two don’t happen to have twin beds!”
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Tantilazing
Rule of defactualization: information deteriorates
Rule of defactualization: information deteriorates upward through bureaucracies.
Damn Kids
A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a
very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the
street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too
high for him to reach.
After watching the boy’s efforts for some time, the priest moves
closer to the boy’s position.
He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little
fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child’s shoulder,
leans over and gives the doorbell a sold ring.
Crouching down to the child’s level, the priest smiles
benevolently and asks, “And now what, my little man?” To which
the boy replies, “Now we run!”
How old are you?
Frank: “How old are you?”
Harold: “Twenty-six. But I don’t look it, do I?”
Frank: “No, but you used to!”
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
What do you call 4 mexicans in quicksand?
A: Cuatro Sink-o