Idle Conversation

A bored guy sat in the bar and looking to strike up a conversation.

He turns to bartender and says, “Hey, about those Democrats in the Congress…”

“STOP pal, I don’t allow talk about politics in my bar!” interrupted the bartender.

A few minutes later the guy tried again, “People say about the Pope…”
“NO religion talk, either,” the bartender cuts in.

One more try to break the boredom,” I thought the Yankees would…”

“NO sports talk…That’s how fights start in bars!” the barman said.

“Look, how about sex. Can I talk to you about sex?”

“Sure, that we can talk about.” replies the barkeep.

“GREAT… GO SCREW YOURSELF!”

Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Curtis

1.- Es un incentivo para

1.- Es un incentivo para ir a trabajar

2.- Lleva a una comunicaci�n m�s honesta

3.- Reduce las quejas de salarios bajos

4.- Los empleados les dicen a sus jefes lo que realmente piensan

5.- Reduce la contaminaci�n ya que todos van a la oficina en el carro del conductor designado

6.- Aumenta la satisfacci�n del trabajo porque aunque el trabajo sea malo, al empleado no le importa

7.- El personal ya no pide vacaciones porque prefiere estar en la oficina

8.- Hace que las compa�eras de trabajo se vean m�s guapas

9.- Hace que la comida del comedor sepa mejor

10.- Es mas probable que los jefes den aumentos de sueldo cuando se encuentran borrachos

11.- Los empleados se quedan m�s tiempo en la oficina porque ya no hay necesidad de irse a alg�n lado a echarse unas cheves.

12.- Hace que las personas sean m�s abiertas a nuevas ideas.

13.- Elimina el problema de estar buscando quienes son los empleados que llegan con aliento alcoh�lico despu�s de la comida.

14.- Ya no se requiere que los empleados est�n pidiendo tacos y/o cafe para curarse la cruda. S�lo siguen tomando cerveza y contin�a la borrachera.

African Roulette

The new American ambassador was being entertained by an African diplomat. They had spent the day discussing the progress the country had made with the Russians before kicking them out.”They built us a power plant, an airport, and taught us how to drink vodka and play Russian roulette.”The ambassador looked pained and said, “Russian roulette is a dangerous game.” “Right, that’s why we invented African roulette; would you like to play?””I’m not sure, how does it work?” The African clapped his hands and six gorgeous black women, all nude, came wiggling in. “Choose the one you want to give you oral sex.””That’s a lot better and less risky than Russian roulette…””Not when one of them is a cannibal.”

What was the problem before?

Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and
returned to the gate.

After an hour-long wait, it finally took off.

A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, “What was the problem?”

“The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine,” explained the
Flight Attendant, “and it took us a while to find a new pilot.”

Swirving blonde

There was a blonde going down a highway, and was swerving left, and right, left, and right, and she continues to do this for about a mile on down the road. Finally a police man pulls her over and asks, ” Madam, if you don’t mind me asking, what are you doing?!?!!?”

The blonde says, ” I have to keep swerving or else i will wreck and hit the tree!!” The police man says. ” Madam, thats not a tree, its your air freshener.

Bad News For Bill

One cold, but sunny winter morning, Bill Clinton is out jogging in the park. He is running past a big pile of snow, when he notices something strange. In the snow, “Bill Clinton is an idiot” is written in urine.Furious, he hurries back to the oval room and contacts his Chief of Secret Police, asking him to solve the mystery. A few days later, Bill’s Chief of Secret Police returns. He tells Bill that their scientists have concluded their testing on the matter, and that there is good and bad news. “Well, give me the good news first,” Bill says. “The good news is, that it was Al Gore’s urine.” “That’s the GOOD news?” the President shouts. “What’s the bad news then?””It was Hillary’s handwriting,” the chief says.