Yours Fun Portal !
Little Johnny walked into the kitchen, saw his mother making a cake and announced, “I’ll be playing in my room for the next two hours. I sure would like a piece of cake when you’re finished.”
Later, when his mother brought him a piece of cooled cake, Little Johnny exclaimed, “Golly, it worked!”
Puzzled, his mother asked, “What do you mean?”
Little Johnny replied, “Daddy said that in order to get a piece around here, you have to spend a couple of hours playing first!”
Knock KnockWho’s there?Agatha!Agatha who?Agatha headache. Do you have an aspirin?
Three limericks from a Long Island contest where you had to use the words Lewinski and Kaczynski.There once was a gal named LewinskyWho played on a flute like Stravinsky ‘Twas ”Hail to the Chief” On this flute made of beefThat stole the front page from Kaczynski.Said Bill Clinton to young Ms. LewinskyWe don’t want to leave clues like Kaczynski, Since you look such a mess, Use the hem of your dressAnd wipe that stuff off of your chinsky.Lewinsky and Clinton have shownWhat Kaczynski must surely have known: That an intern is better Than a bomb in a letterGiven the choice of how to be blown.
Laura Bush wanted to George W. to try a taste of a new 1-calorie cola drink
she had had delivered to the White House. George was hesitant, but Laura
eventually convinced him. She opened the bottle and poured half into a glass
for her and half into the glass for the president. George stared at the two
glasses for a few minutes and then asked Laura: “Which one do you think has the
calorie in it?”
ano ang pagkakaiba ng pakpak sa pekpek..ang pakpak pagbumuka ang pakapak lilipad ang ibon..pekpek pag bumuka ang pekpek papasok ang ibon
Editor’s Note: We get so many yo momma jokes that I decided to group them. Keep checking back, this is likely to grow—-yo momma is so dumb every month she gave your uncle a blowjob cause he said it was for his unemploymentyo momma is so dumb she flunked a urine testyo momma is so dumb she got locked in a supermarket and starved to death.yo momma is so dumb she thought a quarterback was a refund.yo momma is so dumb she tried to drown a goldfishyo momma is so dumb she tripped over a cordless phone.yo momma is so dumb she tripped over the cordles phone”yo momma is so dumb she was fillin out an application it said name here and she put sagitarius.yo momma is so dumb that she tried putting M&M’s in alphabetical order.Yo momma’s so dumb she got fired from the M&M’s factory for throwing out all of the W’s yo momma is so dumb she looked at an orange juice box for 2 hrs. just because it said CONCENTRATEyo momma is so dumb she went to the salon for a facial.”yo momma is so dumb she went to the SUPER BOWL with a spoon.yo momma is so stupid she got hit by a parked caryo momma is so stupid she put a peep hole in a sliding glass dooryo momma is so stupid when she got locked in a grocery store she starved to deathyo momma is so stupid when she got locked in the bathroom she took a bath in the toiletyo momma is so stupid she sits on the tv and watches the couch.yo moma is so dumb she asked me what letter came after x i said y, she said i just wanted to knowyo momma is so dumb it took her two hours to watch 60 minutesyo momma so dumb she jumped over a glass wall to see what’s on the other side
It’s finally come out why George W. is pushing childhood literacy. He wants America’s children to be better off than he is.
–Unlike clothes and shoes, a toothbrush should never be hand-me-down item.
–While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done
in private using one’s OWN truck keys.
–Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if
you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.
–Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to
detract from a woman’s jewelry and alter the tastes of finger foods.
–Plucking unwanted nose hair is time-consuming work. A cigarette lighter and
a small tolerance for pain can accomplish the same goal and save hours. It’s a
good idea to keep a bucket of water handy when using this method.
A new monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the
other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He notices,
however,
that they are copying copies, and not the original books.
So, the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this. He
points out that if there was an error in the first copy, that
error would be continued in all of the other copies.
The head monk says “We have been copying from the copies for
centuries, but you make a good point, my son.”
So, the head monk goes down into the cellar with one of the
copies to check it against the original. Hours later, nobody has
seen him. So, one of the other monks goes downstairs to look for
him. He hears sobbing coming from the back of the cellar and
finds the old monk leaning over one of the original books crying.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
“The word is celebrate” sobs the old monk.
a man said 2 a girl suck my dick she said suck my penus and he laughed then he said suck my penus so she walked up to him pulled his pants + underwear and she sucked them so never say suck my dick suck my penus or they might do it
yo mama is so poor that she ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
A blonde goes into a world-wide message center to send a message to her mother in Poland.
When the man tells her it will be $300, she exclaims, “I don’t have any money but I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother in Poland!”
To that the man asks, “Anything?”
And the blonde says, “Yes, anything!”
With that, the man says “Follow me.”
He walks into the next room and tells her to enter and shut the door. The blonde complies.
He then says “Get on your knees” and she does that as well.
He then says “Unzip my fly” and she does.
He then says “Go ahead and take it out.”
With that, she takes it out and takes hold of it with both hands.
The man then says, “Well, go ahead!”
She brings her mouth closer to it, and while holding it close to her lips..
She says “HELLO, MOM?”
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis, Tantilazing, yisman and Glaci