yo mamma so fat when she was floating in the ocean spain called her for a new world!!!
Author: admin
Gay Horse
What Does A Gay Horse Eat?
Heeeeeeaaay*
What’s the difference between the Titanic…
What’s the difference between the Titanic
and President Bill Clinton?
Only 350 women went down on the
Titanic.
Toe Observations
What do the toes say when they meet?
“There is a fungus among us.”
Dear John
A young man was drafted into the war, named John. He received a
letter one day at the mail call from his girlfriend. In it, she
dumped him very harshly and demanded her picture back. This hurt
his feelings and he spent a while figuring out how to get her
back. So finally he wrote her.
“Dear Anna,
I will miss you and you say you want your picture back? I’m not
sure which one is you. Please select the approprite picture and
send the rest back.
Love John.”
And in it he included about a dozen more pictures, all of
different girls, plus Anna’s, that he collected from his friends.
Alligators for shoes
Once a woman told a man that they use alligators to make shoes.
He shook his head and said, “What will they teach them to do next?”
Ben & Jerry’s New Presidential Ice Creams
Chubby Cheatin’ Hubby Biscuits ‘n’ Gravy Knee Pad Noogat Impeach-Mint Candy
Pants Hyperactive Nuts Chilly Hillbilly Vanilla Pistachio Subpoena Colada Horny
Bubba Crunch Peppermint Fattier Captain Cream Draft-Dodging
Pot-Smoking-Intern-Nailing Raspberry Swirl Scandal berry Chunky Monkey Double
Nut Joy Subpoenas ‘n’ Cream Chocolate Chip Doughboy Tubby Bubba Hillary Chiller
Fundraising Coffee Oval Office Surprise Arkansas Smoothie Arkansas Impeach
Impeaches-n-Creams
Sex tips
Two guys are in a bar discussing their sex lives. One guy says
to the other, “How’s your sex life buddy?”
The other guy says, “Not too good. Every time me and my wife
have sex, she loses interest half-way through. It’s very
frustrating.”
The first guy says, “Yeah, I know what you mean. I used to have
the same problem, but I found a cure. I hid a starter pistol
under the bed. When she started to run out of steam, I simply
fired the starter pistol. It gave her such a fright that she got
all excited, and couldn’t get enough. I wish I’d done it years
ago.”
The other guy says, “OK, I think I’ll try that.”
The next day they are back in the bar again. The first guy says,
“How did you get on with the starter pistol?”
The other guy says, “Don’t talk to me about starter pistols!
Last night we were having a little 69. As usual, she lost
interest half way through, so I fired the starter pistol, just
like you said.”
The first guy says, “So what happened?”
The other guy says, “She bit my cock, shit in my face, and a man
came out of the closet with his hands up!”
The Catholic Service
A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the countryside with a pet dog which he loved and doted on. After many long years of companionship, the dog finally died so Muldoon went to the parish priest:
“Father, my dear old dog is dead. Could you be saying a mass for the creature?”
Father Patrick replied, “I am so very sorry to hear about your dog’s death. But, unfortunately we cannot have services for an animal in the church. However, there’s a new denomination down the road, no telling what they believe, but maybe they’ll do something for the animal.”
Muldoon said, “I’ll go right now. Do you think $500 is enough to donate for the service?”
Father Patrick: “Why didn’t you tell me the dog was Catholic?!”
Periods
What’s the difference between 3 golf balls and a period?
You can’t gargle 3 golf balls!!!
Like a Baby
Man and a woman had been dating for about a year and their
relationship was taking a turn towards getting serious. Man
proposed and she accepted, however she told him that she wanted
him to know that her chest was just like a babys. He said that
he loved her and that her measurements didn’t matter to him. He
also told her that his penis was also like a baby. She said that
she loved him and size didn’t matter.
Come the day of the wedding and all went well. That night the
happy couple checked into the honeymoon suite at the resort
hotel. The blushing bride was in the bathroom putting on a sexy
nightie. Her husband was in the bed waiting. As she entered the
bedroom, she reminded him of her confession about her chest
being like a baby.
“Don’t worry honey” he said. She took her night gown off and her
breasts were the smallest he had ever seen. He said that he was
going to get undressed and reminded her of his confession about
his penis being like a baby.
As he took his pants off the new bride said, “Good God All
Mighty. I thought you said your penis was like a baby” “It is,”
he said, “9 pounds and 21 inches long!”
Why does Hillary have more body guards than Bill?
Q: Why does Hillary have more body guards than Bill?
A: Because if Hillary was killed, who would run the country?