I saw someone that looked like you, but then the dog turned around.
Author: admin
Yo Mama’s So Fat… Klumps
Yo’ mama so fat, she makes the Klumps look like supermodels!
Yo Mama’s So Fat… High Heels #2
Yo mama’s so fat, she went out in high heels and came back in flip flops.
Sexist Joke 4 Men
Two buddies are bull-shiting over a few beers when one of them says something that would be considered a Freudian slip. He also recalls his the last slip he had where he asked the gorgeous big breasted travel agent for two “Pickets to Titsburgh”.
His buddy says, yeah I know what you mean, last week while at breakfast with my wife, I meant to say, “honey please pass the milk”.
But what came out of my mouth was, “You Fucking Bitch, you ruined my Life”.
Un t�o y una t�a
Un t�o y una t�a est�n follando. Al terminar, ella pregunta:
“�T� no tendr�s el SIDA, verdad?”
“�Claro que no!”
“�Qu� bien, porque me joder�a cogerlo dos veces en la misma semana!”
By death
Attorney: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
Witness: By death.
Attorney: And by whose death was it terminated?
Estaba Mar�a F�lix en una
Estaba Mar�a F�lix en una fiesta; en eso llega Thal�a y se presenta:
“Se�ora, se�ora, yo soy Thal�a y he hecho grandes telenovelas”.
“Me parece perfecto”, le contesta la Do�a con indiferencia.
“Adem�s, yo he viajado mucho. En Indonesia me coronaron la emperatriz de la belleza”.
“Me parece perfecto”.
“Pero, d�game, �y usted que ha hecho?”, inquiere la se�ora Mottola.
“�Pues mira, yo tambi�n soy regia, me he esforzado por educarme; me he cultivado. Antes yo dec�a ‘tenedor’ hoy digo ‘cubierto’; antes dec�a ‘pasto’ hoy digo ‘c�sped’. Es m�s, antes yo dec�a: �Me vale madre! Hoy digo: Me parece perfecto.
Mary Poppins
Mary Poppins was traveling home, but due to worsening weather, she decided
to stop at a hotel for the night. She approached the receptionist and
asked for a room for the night. “Certainly madam,” he replied courteously.
“Is the restaurant open still?” inquired Mary. “Sorry, no,” came the
reply, “but room service is available all night. Would you care to select
something from this menu?” Mary smiled and took the menu and perused it.
“Hmm, I would like cauliflower cheese please,” said Mary. “Certainly,
madam,” he replied. “And can I have breakfast in bed?” asked Mary
politely. The receptionist nodded and smiled. “In that case, I would love
a couple of poached eggs, please,” Mary mused.
After confirming the order, Mary signed in and went up to her room for the
night. The night passed uneventfully and the next morning Mary came down
early to check out. The same guy was still on the desk. “Morning
madam…sleep well?” “Yes, thank you,” Mary replied. “Food to your
liking?” “Well, I have to say the cauliflower cheese was exceptional, I
don’t think I have had better. Shame about the eggs, though….they really
weren’t that nice at all,” replied Mary truthfully. “Oh…well, perhaps
you could contribute these thoughts to our Guest Comments Book. We are
always looking to improve our service and would value your opinion,” said
the receptionist. “OK, I will…thanks!” replied Mary….who checked out,
then scribbled a comment into the book. Waving, she left to continue her
journey. Curious, the receptionist picked up the book to see the comment
Mary had written. “Supercauliflowercheesebuteggswerequiteatrocious!”
Yo Mama’s So Ugly
Yo’ mama so ugly, she scares blind kids away.
Alligators for shoes
Once a woman told a man that they use alligators to make shoes.
He shook his head and said, “What will they teach them to do next?”
The Snow White Ad!
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs are roaming in the forest when they come across a lake. The water was enticing and Snow White decides to take a bath. So she tells the Dwarfs to turn around while she is taking a bath in the lake.
The Dwarfs protest vehemently because they want to take a bath too.
Snow White relents and says “When I get into the water and you hear the splash, you can turn around.”
Snow White undresses and as she is about to jump into water, at that very moment, she is startled by a frog who jumps into water before she can.
The moment the Dwarfs hear the SPLASH, they turn around and see Snow White standing NAKED.
Now, given that this incident is an idea for a TV ad, what product is being advertised?
Scroll down for the answer.
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Come on now, this should be easy for a person of your mental powers!
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The product being advertised is…
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SEVEN UP!
Penguin goes into a bar
So ,this penguin goes into a bar and says to the barman “have you seen my brother?”…
and the barman says “I don’t know, what does he look like?” (ba-dum-tish)