Blonde Pulled Over for Speeding

A traffic cop out on patrol for the first time stops a
Speeding sports car. Inside is an attractive young blonde
Woman. The cop asks for identification and the girl says she has no
identification on her at all. Unsure of what to do the cop radios for advice.

“Just stick your cock through the window.” he is told.

“Are you sure?” he asks.

“Yes, just stick your cock through the window.”

So the cop goes back to the car and sticks his cock through the window.

“Oh no!” says the blonde. “Not another breathalyzer test!”

The Mage in Battle

Top 10 things you don’t want to hear your mage say in battle.10) “Is it virgin’s tears and dragon’s blood, or dragon’s tears and virgin’s blood? Maybe the dragon was a virgin..” 9) “Hmm…is this the recipe for a Potion of Healing, or for Chile Con Carne?” 8) “Oh, oh, oh, oh! That wand of cold balls -didn’t- do what I expected.” 7) “By any chance, have you seen a summoned 9th order fire elemental wandering around? No? Oh.. Tell me if you do.” 6) “It’s supposed to have five points?” 5) “My familiar will take care of that dragon! Sic ’em, Fifi!” 4) “What kind of cheap, wussyarse excuse for a djinn only gives one wish? Oh, he’s still here…” 3) “Eennie, meenie, miny, moe.. Which end points toward the foe?” 2) “Damn. I knew I should have used Energizers in this thing.”And, the number one thing you don’t want to hear from your mage..1) “Oops…”

Baseball Heaven?

Two old guys, Abe and Sol, are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons and
talking about baseball, like they do every day. Abe turns to Sol and says, “Do
you think there’s baseball in heaven?”
Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, “I dunno. But let’s make a deal:
if I die first, I’ll come back and tell you if there’s baseball in heaven, and
if you die first, you do the same.”

They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on. One day
soon afterward, Sol is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he
hears a voice whisper, “Sol… Sol…”

Sol responds, “Abe! Is that you?”

“Yes it is, Sol,” whispers Abe’s ghost.

Sol, still amazed, asks, “So, is there baseball in heaven?”

“Well,” says Abe, “I’ve got good news and bad news.”

“Gimme the good news first,” says Sol.

Abe says, “Well… there is baseball in heaven.”

Sol says, “That’s great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that!?”

Abe sighs and whispers, “You’re pitching on Friday.”

Morning Rewards

A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an American on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives.’Last night, I made love to my wife four times,’ the Frenchman bragged, ‘and this morning she made me delicious crepes and she told me how much she adored me.’ ‘Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times,’ the Italian responded, ‘and this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told me she could never love another man.’ When the American remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked, ‘And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?’ ‘Once,’ he replied. ‘Only once?’ the Italian arrogantly snorted. ‘And what did she say to you this morning?’ ‘Don’t stop.’

boner boy

One day ryan kent went over to his girl friends house to watch t.v. When Ryans girl frined got really close, he got some led in his pencil and got emberresed becouse his pants started to stick up. Now he was really embarresed because his girlfriend asked him what it was. He said that it was a banana he had been saving to eat. His girl friend said ok, but im hungry arent you, can i have a bit of the banana.Ryan said that it was a pencil and his girl friend said ok, but i need to finish some home work will you help me.So her and ryan went up stairs to do some homework.Then thay went up stairs and he pulled down his over alls and his girl friends eyes get big and she says” holy shit thats the littlest thing ive ever seen”. Then she slappes it and said i had to do some homework and eat a banana, not look at a little worm.