Why are a lot of Italians named Tony?
Because when they came to the U.S., they wanted to go to New
York, so they wrote on their foreheads: TO NY
Author: admin
What’s the difference…
Q: What’s the difference between a penis and a paycheck?
A: You don’t have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!
Smelly Iraqi
There’s a Canadian an American and an Iraqi. Each is challenged to go into and remain in a house for ten minutes. The prize is $10,000 dollars. What they don’t know is that there is a skunk in the house!The Canadian goes in and runs out after five seconds, “It stinks in there!”The American goes in and last ten seconds.Then the Iraqi goes in and five seconds later the skunk runs out!
The History Of Casual Day
Memo No. 1: Effective immediately, the company is adopting Fridays as Casual Day so that employees may express their diversity.
Memo No. 2: Spandex and leather micro-miniskirts are not appropriate attire for Casual Day. Neither are string ties, rodeo belt buckles or moccasins.
Memo No. 3: Casual Day refers to dress only, not attitude. When planning Friday’s wardrobe, remember image is a key to our success.
Memo No. 4: A seminar on how to dress for Casual Day will be held at 4 p.m. Friday in the cafeteria. Fashion show to follow. Attendance is mandatory.
Memo No. 5: As an outgrowth of Friday’s seminar, a 14-member Casual Day Task Force has been appointed to prepare guidelines for proper dress.
Memo No. 6: The Casual Day Task Force has completed a 30-page manual. A copy of “Relaxing Dress Without Relaxing Company Standards” has been mailed to each employee. Please review the chapter “You Are What You Wear” and consult the “home casual” versus “business casual” checklist before leaving for work each Friday. If you have doubts about the appropriateness of an item of clothing, contact your CDTF representative before 7 a.m. on Friday.
Memo No. 7: Because of lack of participation, Casual Day has been discontinued, effective immediately.
Lost at Sea
Two guys of limited intelligence were on a ship that sank in the middle of the ocean. They managed to inflate a rubber life raft and grab a box of provisions before their ship slipped below the surface. After floating under blazing heat for 6 days they ran out of food and water. On the 10th day, bleary eyed and half dead from heat, thirst and starvation, they spotted a small object floating toward them in the water.
As it drew near, they were ecstatic to find that it was an oil lamp(the kind the genies come in). They grabbed the lamp and rubbed it.”POOF” out popped a tired old genie who said…
“OK, so you freed me from this stupid lamp, yadda, yadda, yadda. Buthey, I’ve been doing this 3 wishes stuff for a long time now and quitefrankly, I’m burned out. You guys get only ONE wish and then I’m OUTTA here. Make it a good one”.
The first guy, without hesitation or thought blurted out, “Give us all the beer we can drink for the rest of our lives!!!”
“Fine,” said the genie, and he instantly turned the entire ocean into beer.
“Great move Einstein!” said the second guy, slapping the first guy in the head. “NOW we’re gonna have to pee in the BOAT!”
Estaban dos ni�os cada uno
Estaban dos ni�os cada uno con un trompo y uno le dice al otro:
“A ver, baila el trompo.”
Y el otro le contesta: “No sabo.”
“No se dice no sabo se dice no sepo.”
En ese momento una se�ora estaba escuchando la conversaci�n de los ni�os y les dice:
“No se dice ni no sabo ni no sepo.”
Los ni�os le preguntan:
“Entonces, �C�mo se dice?”
La se�ora les contesta:
“No s�.”
Y los ni�os le dicen:
“Entonces, por qu� se mete en lo que no le importa.”
Blonde Jokes
There were 3 blondes who found a jeanie. He granted each of them a wish. The first wished she was 50% smarter – poof she’s a BRUNETTE, the second wished she was 25% smarter – poof she’s a REDHEAD, the third wished she was 50% dumber – poof she’s a BLOND MAN.
On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong…
On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
Guaranteed to work
throughout its useful life.
Two Girlfriends
There was this guy and he had a girlfriend called Lorraine who was very pretty and he liked her a lot.One day he went to work to find that a new girl had started. Her name was Clearly and she was absolutely gorgeous. He became quite besotted with her and after a while it became obvious that she was interested in him too.But this guy was a loyal man and he wouldn’t get involved with Clearly while he was still going out with Lorraine.He decided that there was nothing for it but to break up with her and get it on with the new girl.He planned several times to tell Lorraine but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. One day they went for a walk along the river bank when Lorraine slipped and fell in to the river. The current carried her off and she drowned.The guy stopped for a moment by the river and then ran off smiling and singing: “I can see Clearly now Lorraine has gone”
The newly wed
The newly wed wife said to her husband when he returned from work: “I have
great news for you. Pretty soon we’re going to be three in this house instead of
two.”
The husband started glowing with happiness and kissing his wife said: “Oh
darling, I’m the happiest man in the world.”
But then she said: “I’m glad that you feel that way because tomorrow morning
my mother moves in with us.”
Why do Samoans have big
Why do Samoans have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.
osama 2
Q: Whats the difference between bin laden and alladin ?
A: Aladdin has three wishes and osama only has one , a death
wish.